When a stranger comes home
by nutmeg17
Summary: Eric Novak saw his parents die and renamed himself Castiel he suffered from amnesia & was sent away. Castiel is now returning & so is his past; 'mary must die or the world will' *full summary inside* please R&R xx
1. Chapter 1

**I will rewrite the summary as it was rather rushed due to that darn count word thing lol anyway Jimmy and Eric are twins when they met Dean the three of them might as well be triplets there best friends, and remained at way for five years, until one night when they were nine. **

**There was a strange car accident, which caused the death of Mr and Mrs Novak, but by some grace of god little Eric survived, the little nine year old had to watch his parents die. Eric changed after that, he became reserved and awkward, he didn't respond to his name anymore, now it is Castiel, he didn't remember a thing and he never cried. Castiel was sent to a hospital were he could be helped, after nine years Castiel is returning to Kansas and to Jimmy and Dean. **

**Jimmy never talked about Eric after the accident; secretly blaming him for his parent's death he was not best pleased with news of his return, Dean on the other hand was secretly excited to see his friend again after all these years, what he finds isn't the friend he used to know, but something so much more. Not only do the boys have to deal with a socially awkward naive mirror image of Jimmy, they have to deal with high school, where they are in senior year as lep step and a jump from graduation and students have nothing better to do but cause trouble, especially Michael. **

**New friends, allies and enemies come to light when Castiel starts to painfully remember his past. Castiel remembers his orders and for the first time, he is starting to think about disobeying what he has to do will destroy the boy he's starting to care for, even love, his actions could destroy Dean.**

**Hope you enjoy XD Reviews are always welcome xxx**

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"But whyyyy?" A red faced little boy was pulling at his mothers' floral dress, on the brink of a major tantrum.

"Because baby, It's Sammy's first birthday."

"But I want a present."

Dean was five; he loved attention and gifts much like any child his age. But today was Sam's day, even though he was only one and would not remember nor could he appreciate all the trouble Mary and John went too. The party was set and guests were starting to arrive. Mary scooped Dean up in her arms and did the 'look' that made Dean laugh, it was a look all mothers have, it differs from parent to parent but it makes their children smile no matter what.

"Come on, you know better then this. You're a big boy now." Mary kissed him and placed him back on the kitchen floor. Dean eagerly nodded in agreement he always responded well to this, he liked to be seen as older then he was. "Go help Daddy with the quests sweetie."

"Okay." With that Dean dashed out the room with the endless energy of a five year old.

Dean ran into the garden were the lawn was covered in tables and balloons, with a very large BBQ at the centre. There was a food table that Mary was filling with her home made dishes and a drinks table which John was emptying. Dean ran up to John;

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," John was talking to the first and only guest; Dean saw this as the right way to get his attention. John looked around slightly annoyed but generally amused at his eldest son. They beamed smiles at each other before picking Dean up so he was eyelevel to the guest. He was tall with deep blue eyes; smart combed hair and rectangle glasses. "Who's that?"

Dean asked loudly and pointed, both men laughed.

"Hello Dean I'm Mr. Novak, I've just joined your fathers softball team." The man looked strange to Dean but his smile was friendly enough to gain the child's approval, John was impressed, Dean was usually very suspicious of adults. Dean nodded enthused at Mr Novak then instantly lost interest and looked around the garden again.

Dean hugged John and returned to the ground, as soon as he did he darted weaving in and out of tables towards the two boys he had spotted from Johns arms.

"Hello my name is Dean Winchester, what's yours?" The two boys stood up and faced Dean they were identical twins which amused Dean, they looked exactly the same. The bravest of the boys looked at Dean

"I'm Eric Novak this is my brother Jimmy, he's my twin."

"Do you want to play with me?" Dean asked, both the boys nodded at the same time, and they spent the whole party playing cops and robbers using the tables as hide outs.

That was the day Dean met the Novak's. Jimmy and Eric were inseparable and after a few weeks so was Dean, they played cowboys and Indians, kings and peasants, superheroes and many other make believe games. Disaster struck when they were 9. Jimmy and Eric had their weekly swimming lesson; unfortunately Jimmy sprained his wrist whilst chasing Dean with a stick- in a friendly way. So Eric went on his own, on the way back the twins Mum and Dad died. There was an accident Dean never really heard the whole story.

Jimmy went to live with his aunt just a few streets away and Eric, Eric went away and he didn't come back. Dean assumed he must be alive as he accompanied Jimmy to his parent's funeral but there wasn't one for Eric. Come to think of it he didn't see Eric at his parent's funeral at all. Dean often wondered what happened, but Jimmy didn't want to talk about it, ever.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 1997 Dean and Jimmy were 18 and about to graduate from high school. Dean was going to med school and Jimmy was going to study law at Stanford. Jimmy talks about it so much Sammy now has in his head he wants to go there too. They were sitting at the table in Jimmy's living room playing poker being students they never had any money this was especially true for this hot, humid Monday evening they had no choice but to stay in.

There was concentration on Deans face as he was working out the odds and trying to decide whether to swap 2 cards or 3. Dean was very competitive Jimmy wasn't so much and always found this in Dean amusing. Jimmy decided it was the right time to;

"SNAP!" Jimmy slammed the cards down onto the table and laughed making Dean fling his cards on the floor as he jumped.

"Ha ha very funny, I guess this means your fed up with poker." Dean joked as he started clearing away the cards, Jimmy didn't help and sat there trying to find the rights words to start the long over due convocation he has to have with Dean.

"Dean Can we talk?"

"Jimmy isn't that what we've been doing for that last 5 hours." Dean jokingly replied looking at this watch, oblivious to the gravity of Jimmy's next words and how they will flip his world upside down.

"I'm ready."

"Ready, ready for what?" Dean questioned, as he became slightly more on edge. One word explained everything one word told Dean he was in for a very intense listening session.

"Eric." Dean was very intrigued, was he is actually going to hear the story he has been waiting to hear for 9 years? "He's coming."

Dean was shocked that was not what he expected to hear at all, that was actually the last thing he expected would come out of Jimmy's mouth.

"What?"

"Eric's coming to stay"

"Huh, What? How? What?"

One worded questions was all that Dean could muster. Eric has been the biggest taboo of their friendship, the elephant in the room for 9 years. Never being mention and now suddenly he moving back to Kansas?

"Dean, Eric's coming t…."

"Okay, okay, okay I get that part genius what I don't get why or how?"

"Well he graduated so he's coming back."

"No Jimmy, I mean the whole fucking story, Jesus you don't mention him for 9 years now suddenly he's coming back? What the hell happened? Jimmy please."

Jimmy took a deep breath. Telling Dean never to talk about Eric was a huge ask especially because they were nine at the time and for all these years he's kept his promise. Jimmy knew he deserved to now the truth the whole messed up freaky twisted truth.

"Okay, Do you remember when we were nine and me and Eric had that swimming lesson couldn't go to because of my arm? So I went to yours? That was the night of my parents passing, it happened on the way back from swimming. Well according to, my aunt, they were driving along when a bright burning white light appeared and the car crashed, there was blood in the front seats but mum and dad were gone, Eric was left in the back. All he kept saying to the police was that he needed to go home that it was wasn't time. He said, he said that home was"

"Home was what?"

Dean asked as if he was five again and a bedtime story stopped on a cliff hanger, eager to hear the rest of the story despite Jimmy becoming emotional with tears falling down his cheeks as he spoke, this was probably this first time he had spoken about this out loud.

"Heaven," Jimmy's aunt was listened to Jimmy as he told the story she had told him. After hearing him becoming affected by his words, she took over feeling the story had to be let out; "Again and again, he needed to go back to heaven, he had to go home, he needed to fulfil his fathers plan. He never cried it was, cold. Boys, I don't know what he saw but after he was twisted and broken it was like he was someone completely different. They found my brother and carol, away from the car. Their, their eyes were also burnt out and their brains had, how do I say, short circuited, like they were way to close to a massive electromagnetic field."

Jimmy's aunt came to put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder knowing how much this hurt him. Willing to stop, Jimmy asked her to continue Dean deserved to know.

"Poor little Eric became quiet and reserved and he wouldn't even answer to his own name, Castiel that was what he insisted he was called. It was such an unusual name for a nine year old to come up with, I assumed I was the name of one of the attackers but the police couldn't do anything. He was very traumatised. A physiologist thought it best if he went to a school where they could help him. He's had counselling everyday, they are happy at his progress. He no longer has violent outbursts or some how escapes from his room, he still insists he name is Castiel but they say that he's okay and are letting him leave."

"Enter us." Jimmy mumbled, when the story finished Jimmy felt like crap had not thought about his twin or parents death in so long. None of his few friends, apart from Dean even know Eric exists, Jimmy obviously hated the idea of his twin invading his town.

"Jimmy, I know how hard this must be for you, I do, but he is still your brother and just look at his life. Dude it pretty much blew, now he has a chance for a normal one." Jimmy was reassured by Deans words, his voice could always calm him down.

"He'll be arriving tomorrow at 6 if you want to be here, I know Jimmy would appreciate it." Jimmy's aunt informed Dean, as Jimmy excused himself to go to the bathroom. "Your like a brother to him, he could do with your support."

"Yeah you got it Sarah, I'll be here." Dean smiled weakly at her. Dean was nervous about meeting him again as well. Sarah stood and went to the kitchen to stick the kettle on. Leaving Dean starring at the table. Jimmy joined Dean and they were there for 15 minutes simply starring, mulling things over.

Dean wanted to ask questions but repress them, not wanting Jimmy even more uncomfortable. After looking at Dean Jimmy knew he had questions, who wouldn't?

"Ask away."

"Jimmy are you sure?"

"Yeah, I have to get used to talking about him anyway."

"How long is he staying for?"

"Until he goes to college."

"A real one or a special one? To study what?"

"A proper one and history I believe."

"Why the name Castiel?" There was a silence, maybe Dean pushed too far

"Because that's his name apparently." Jimmy shrugged he didn't have a proper answer to this one. Dean didn't want to push Jimmy so didn't ask any more. After looking at the time Dean saw he had to leave.

"Listen Jimmy I have to go, but I'll see you at school tomorrow, and I'll be here at six." Dean put his hand on Jimmy's shoulder and gently squeezed to show his support. Dean left without Jimmy saying another word; he didn't need too not with Dean.

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**Please review :D**


	3. Chapter 3

It was nearly time to go home Dean thought as he and Jimmy walked through school the next day. Jimmy's stomach was doing flip flops, he felt sick and his palms were sweaty. They walked down the heaving corridor.

"Shit." Dean said to Jimmy as they were walking towards a boy their age with blonde hair and brown eyes. he didn't look like much but he had a good right hook, Dean thought to himself as he remembered when I found out first hand.

"Just ignore him Dean, please." Dean nodded to Jimmy, he knew the last thing he needed today was trouble. They walked past not giving the boy eye contact.

"Oh look it's the fags." Even though he told Jimmy he could ignore him, he couldn't just walk away and not say something

"Piss of Michael." Dean shouted back. Jimmy just grabbed his arm to keep him moving, Dean had no problem standing up to people. He was always up for a fight if it meant putting a dick in his place and Michael was a dick. Dean's method worked with everyone but Michael he thought along the same lines as Dean, which meant they clashed even harder.

"If you ever get tired of Novak over there, you can always come to me Winchester, all you have to do is say yes." Michael joked and his friends roared with laughter, Dean felt himself get angry, he couldn't understand why it got Michael of, making fun of the childhood friendship he and Jimmy shared, they were brothers not lovers!

Dean was lead away by Jimmy, to their last class of the day. It was English with Mrs Jetson. She was convinced every one should all be friends, so every lesson after the finals she gets students to come to the front, and they played 'most burning questions', giving the class to poke around in private lives and embarrass those at the front of the class. She says it's to build the bond of her class. But it was probably just because she couldn't think of anything else. Today there were only 3 students left, Dean, Jimmy and Anna. Anna went first, she was popular slim with fiery red hair and lips to match and answered question like first kiss, first date the type of skin care she uses, her favourite fashion brand and even offers of dates. Anna didn't mind at all, she loved the attention. Then all too quickly it unfortunately came to Jimmy. Jimmy didn't mind attention it was bad attention he was uncomfortable with, this was bad attention. No one really had any questions for Jimmy no one really cared much; Out of politeness Anna who was actually rather a nice girl asked the first question.

"What's your favourite colour?" It was weak but what else could she really ask.

"Blue." Other hands went up as they followed Anna's lead.

"Where are you going to college?"

"Stanford." Michael was sitting at the back; he stood up to get the attention from the class

"Is it true, you and Winchester are lovers?"

"No."

"Does he take it, or do you?" The teacher interjected at this point, over the top of all the laughter she said

"Sit down, Michael no need to be rude." He did so, receiving smiles from the rest of the class. A young girl on the front row, felt sorry for Jimmy so tried to get the 'game' back on track

"Do you have any siblings?" Jimmy had to catch his breath as her question reached his ears. He looked at her, he felt his eyes begin to sting, he turned to Dean. Who raised his eyebrows in a supportive way, which told him to go on.

"No." Jimmy slowly said staring out to the class with a sadden expression on his blank face. Every one, even those on really interested in the game, were intrigued why it took him such a long time to answer, and why his answer was so full of hate.

"Why do you live with your aunt?" Bella asked she had no problem with boundaries, she ignored them.

"Because I don't live with my parents." Jimmy was quick to answer and rather defensive on the subject. Michael never having a back off mode, shouted out.

"Why don't you live with your parents?" Everyone suddenly started to seem interested in Jimmy's answers.

"There dead." Jimmy spoke coldly and made everyone in the class except Michael of course, fall silent and began to feel sorry for him.

"When did it happen?"

"9 years ago." Jimmy spoke through his teeth, wishing someone would shut Michael up.

Every one was shocked they did not know this crucial fact of Jimmy's life. They realised how little they know about each other well Jimmy anyway. It's no wonder he's so attached to Dean, everyone new he meet Dean when he was five. So Dean must have helped him through loosing his family. Dean was his family, basically all he had. There were no more questions, well there were but no one had the heart to ask them, not even Michael.

"Okay thank you Jimmy you can sit down now." Just as Mrs Jetson finished Jimmy's phone started going, not really caring about the class Jimmy answered it. The rest of the class paying close attention to the one sided convocation, as if his private life was now public property.

"Hello, no, in English, you said 6, fuck, well tell him to wait half an hour for school to finish, aunt he's waited nine years tell him another god damn 30 minutes wont kill him, I don't know he's your nephew talk to him, about anything, we'll be there as soon as."

As Jimmy hung up the phone he turned to realise the all whole class was listening every one had many more questions. Suddenly everyone wanted to know about him. Dean went over to the white and worried looking Jimmy and quietly asked if he was okay. Jimmy told him what was said Dean's face went white too and he felt as sick as Jimmy. Deans patted him on the shoulder as reinsurance that he has Jimmy's back. Jimmy went back to his seat looking very uneasy and nervous. It was Deans turned in the spotlight, hands instantly went up.

"What did he tell you?"

"None of your god damn business."

"Dean play nice." The teacher told him.

"If you had one wish, what would it be?" Dean looked at the girl that asked this, in a 'what the fuck?' way, what kind of question is that. He had many answers to this, bringing Jimmy's parents back, hurting Michael, graduate right now, Dean decided on;

"To sit down." This got a few chuckles from the class

"Do you believe in god?" Dean thought about this, he new after what happened to Jimmy, he could never believe, but did Dean.

"No."

"Why do you drive your dads beat up old car?"

"Why wouldn't I my babies a classic."

"Yeah, right!" Dean shot a glare at chuck who the hell was he to insult his car. The class fell silent Dean may not have been particularly popular but he was tough and everyone new it. Dean once got into a massive fight with a guy, just because he knocked his little brother Sammy to the ground and it was an accident. After scanning the class,

"We're done." Dean told them in the toughest voice he could manage and sat back down, to wait for the bell to mark the end of the school day. Flashing Jimmy a friendly supportive smile on the way back to his seat.

The end of school bell was like the gun at the start of a race, where everyone including the teachers was fighting to get out school first as if they were running for the gold. Today was no exception, as soon as that bell went every pupil in Mrs Jetson's English class leapt into the air and dashed to the door in a matter of seconds. Well all but two Jimmy and Dean. Jimmy was still at his desk unable to move, frozen in fear at the thought of going home to see the boy that shared his face, the boy that he is identical with, but live worlds apart from, the boy that Jimmy blames for destroying his family.


	4. Chapter 4

Jimmy looked up at Dean, his eyes stinging and he could feel himself break into a cold sweat, his palms became sticky and damp. The classroom door was open ajar and Anna had come to collect the jumper she had left on the back of her chair in the bid to leave. She stopped when heard voices and couldn't help but listen

"Come on mate, we have to go"

"I don't know if I can"

Jimmy was breathing heavily trying his best to calm down

"Jimmy, he's probably just as nervous as you, you haven't seen each other in nine years. That's got to be awkward it's understandable, but he is still your brother"

Jimmy suddenly looked more angry then upset

"No, he has done nothing to warrant that title, all he's done is robbed me of my family"

As Anna heard this her eyes widened and moved back giving her room to process.

"So, so you do have a brother?"

She asked herself under her breath as her leant back towards the door for another listen.

"Jimmy you can't blame what happened on him, he was nine. It was no ones fault"

Jimmy new Dean was talking sense but refused to listen, the way he dealt with the pain and grief all these years was to blame someone, he blamed Eric

"Dean he's not my brother, your more of a brother to me than him"

"Blood is thicker then water"

Dean reminded him. Jimmy gave him a faint nod in agreement. Anna heard movement and became panicky they were about to exit the room to find her eavesdropping. So she swung the door open and walked in as if shed only just got there. Flashing the boys a smile as she picked up her jumper before leaving, Anna was pleased they didn't know a thing and smiled to herself whilst leaving the room. She was closely followed by Dean and Jimmy who left the room also. They new it was time to face the music, well twin.

-x-

Even though they were certainly thinking about the same person, they were walking in silence each to their own thoughts. Dean turned to Jimmy

"What do I call him, Eric or Castiel?"

Jimmy shrugged.

"His name is Eric, whether he accepts it or not it's the name my parents gave him, I'm calling him Eric. It's up to you what name you want to use"

Jimmy was obviously bothered by Eric's insistence of being called Castiel, Dean nodded

"Eric it is then"

Jimmy was glad Dean saw his side of things, or went along with them anyway. As they reached Jimmy's gate, he stopped as if forgotten what to do, although opening his gate walking up the path and into the house, is something of a daily occurrence. Jimmy stood staring at the gate as if it I were alien to him. Dean standing besides him reached over and opened the gate for him. He knew Jimmy was stalling, Dean too wanted to stall, to run but if they both did they would never get there so Dean took the role of the strong one.

With one more glance at his supportive loyal friend's certain face Jimmy new there was no getting out of this. With a deep breath he started to walk up the path. They reached the old battered cream door in a matter of seconds that felt like a life time. Jimmy's hands were shaking as he tried to put the key in the lock. Dean gently placed his strong firm hands over Jimmy's fragile ones and helped him with his key. The door swung opened leaving Dean and Jimmy standing on the threshold, with Dean's hands still clasping Jimmy's. Dean gently squeezed showing his support and also his nerves too; Dean wanted Jimmy to squeeze back so Dean new he wasn't alone. As usual loyal kind Jimmy came through.

Dean dropped his hands loosely by his side and strolled into the warming peach hallway. As he turned Jimmy was still standing feet rooted where Dean had left him, rolling his eyes Dean grabbed Jimmy by the collar of his jacket to force him inside. The boys walked through the light hall way, there were pictures of Jimmy growing up and his parents when they were nothing more than high school sweethearts. Neither Jimmy nor Dean looked at the photos they had already seen hundreds of times. They had walked down this hall so many times over the last nine years but never with such heavy thumbing racing before.

-X-

The sight that awaited them was not such a shock as they were dreading, Eric was sitting with his back to the door, and although they could only see his back they could see he was sitting stiff and upright, because of nerves they thought. It was Jimmy's aunt Sarah that spotted the boys quietly advancing the table were the familiar stranger sat.

"Castiel, here are the boys"

Sarah spoke in an excited way, maybe too excited more relived they had arrived. Jimmy merely rolled his eyes at her when she called him Castiel. The boy rose from his seat at Sarah's insistent arm flapping and pointing. He stood slowly almost like he was building the tension and anticipation on purpose. He turned their eyes met.

They were the same distinct deep lightening blue eyes, Dean Thought were so unique in Jimmy and now there they were in Eric. Dean looked from one to the other, and again and again their glaze was locked. They seemed very much like a mirror except jimmy was wearing jeans and a slogan t-shirt whilst the other a dark suit dean thought it strange in a boy their age but he probably dressed for the occasion. Apart from that they still looked identical despite all these years apart, Dean was expecting them to have different hair or one was taller or maybe one of them was fatter than the other, but no, they were so much alike one could pass as the other.

Dean slowly edged towards Sarah to let Jimmy and Eric reconnect. The boys stared for a long time; Jimmy was exploding inside at the sight of his twin, the hatred inside him towards this boy melted away from the fiery passion he felt to embrace his brother to regain a family. Jimmy opened his mouth but couldn't speak what could you say in this situation.

Castiel looked at jimmy with identical eyes but weren't, not really. Yes they were the same memorising blue, but Castiel's did not have longing or relief, he had age in his eyes, on close examination they looked, dead. Castiel simply nodded at jimmy and turned away from him. Jimmy eyebrows became knotted and he was very frustrated at how cold the boy was being.

-X-

Castiel turned to Dean and looked at him in the same manner as Jimmy, like he was searching for answers trying to read them. Dean unlike Jimmy couldn't hold the gaze for long, it was very intense.

"Heya Eric"

Dean spoke quickly and nervously, trying to break the tension. Castiel didn't reply, he tilted his head to the side in confusion and stared deeper at Dean. No one had called him Eric in years. He had forgotten that name. Castiel however didn't forget Deans

"Dean my name is Castiel"

Dean was shocked he remembered him; Dean looked at Sarah, thinking she told him he would be coming with Jimmy. Sarah merely shook her head, knowing what Dean was thinking. What was more surprising than this was his voice, it was low and thundered, as if he was just gargling gravel. He may look like Jimmy but he sounded completely different. During this Jimmy was stunned and angry at his insistence of that name. So much so Jimmy kept shifting, rolling his eyes and looking around the room whilst biting his tongue to try and calm down. It nearly worked but then;

"Okay, hi Castiel"

Dean was agreeing to call him it! Dean of all people his best friend Jimmy felt betrayed.

"NO!"

He shouted and got the attention of everyone

"No your name is Eric Novak"

"Jimmy"

His aunt tried to calm him down but the attempt was futile.

"No aunt, mum and dad gave you the name Eric fucking Novak, not god damn Castiel!"

"Jimmy don't blaspheme"

Was all the response he got from his outburst. This riled him completely had took him self out side with a bang of the front door he went to calm down. Castiel went to follow, suddenly he thought he should help, he felt for the guy, after all he did still look like his twin. Dean grabbed his arm to stop him in his efforts;

"Best not mate, leave him to calm down"

Castiel looked at the hand on his arm; he noticed the firm yet gentle grip Dean had. This alone had Castiel listening. Castiel's mouth was open slightly as his eyes moved up, from his hand up his arm to Dean's broad shoulders, up his strong neck after lingering on his lips, Castiel met the eyes of Dean. This time Dean was prepared for the intense stare and met it head on.

-X-

"Well that didn't go like I hoped"

Sarah said as she went to pour tea

"I had hoped you and Jimmy would; at least have convocation before the sibling rivalry started."

Sarah had her back to the boys; she couldn't see that their graze was still locked. Castiel was searching Dean's eyes looking deep. Dean on the other hand had no idea why he couldn't look away. He's seen these eyes everyday in Jimmy, but they were so different in Castiel they seemed old and wise like he has seen everything there is to see over so many years. Dean didn't understand how, he's been locked in a room for half of his life. Dean finally broke the staring, as he turned his back to Castiel and sighed deep and silently trying to get his breath back and make sense of everything.

"Castiel, what do you want for dinner?"

Sarah asked, Dean turned to sit at the table, being careful not to met Castiel's eyes, Dean couldn't handle that again so soon.

"I don't require sustenance"

Castiel plainly stated as if it was such an obvious thing to say.

"Well not yet, but when you're hungry…"

She looked at Castiel his face was blank, it was clear he wasn't about to speak, he didn't understand and simply stood their silently

"I erm…I'll do chips then everyone likes chips"

Dean could see why Sarah was so happy to see him and Jimmy. Castiel was rather awkward to talk to and Sarah wasn't the biggest social butterfly to begin with

"Thank you that's, kind of you"

Castiel told her as he sat down, watching the smile that appeared on her face

"Come on Cas, anything you could eat…"

Castiel looked confused, he understood being called Eric, but has never been called Cas before. Dean saw the confusion in his face smiled and began to verify the meaning

"Dude, it's a nickname, I shortened your name so it's easier to say and its, it's what friends do"

"I wasn't aware I was your friend"

Dean was hurt by this; it was such a straight out kick in the balls comment. Cas although behaved like a robot recognised pain in his new friends face

"I'm sorry Dean, its just no one has called me 'Cas' or 'friend' before, most people usually behave the way Jimmy did"

"Well I'm not most people"

Dean said with a smirk, Cas looked at Dean again, he did this a lot, the uncomfortable effect it caused was lessoning and Dean didn't mind it as much

"No your not"

Cas reassured him, which made both boys smile and Dean Blush slightly. Dean noticed, that Cas had a crocked smile and seemed odd and out of place on his face. As if he wasn't used to smiling. Dean still thought that the smile on his face, although a little awkward, lite him up and made his old eyes seem more youthful, it looked beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel and Dean were still at the table, in which they were sitting in silence for around 5 minutes. Sarah's clanking in the kitchen and the sound of there breathing filled the air. They occasionally looked at each other, but never while the other was looking.

When Dean looked he admired his remarkable resemblance to Jimmy, whilst trying to think of something to say to this stranger Dean fondly remembers from childhood. That's it that was all he was thinking whilst scanning over the mirror of his best friend, at least that's what he told himself. Cas on the other hand was filled to the brim with confusion, he had never really had a friend before, so was this stomach flipping thing normal. Cas guessed it must be, as Dean looked the same as Cas imagined he looked, slightly uncomfortable in how comfortable their silence was, so Cas thought no more about it.

"Maybe we should look for Jimmy, he's probably calm now"

Dean spoke slow and steady to Cas, before swallowing loudly to try and moisten his dry sticky throat. Dean spoke through the tension between them, not bad intension it was warming but it was rather unnerving. Dean couldn't describe it in words it was just this feeling he got in the pit of his stomach and thick of his throat. Cas' was staring at Dean's dry full lips. He watched how they parted, stretched, pouted and closed with his words. Cas could see Deans use of tongue as he spoke, It was strangely sensual. Being too caught up with the movement of his mouth Cas didn't really listen to what came out of it.

"Yes, I agree"

At this Dean got up and Cas followed not entirely understanding what he just agreed too, but followed Dean outside nonetheless. With a simple speechless nod to Sarah Castiel joined Dean on the side of the street. He was looking right and left, looking for a clue to where Jimmy went.

Castiel stood by his side and accidentally brushed Dean's shoulder, as he did so. Dean could barley feel it through the layers of clothes and it was of course accidental, however Dean still jumped back, moving away from Castiel. Cas thought it was a slight over reaction but there was still a lot to learn about Dean, what he learnt so far; Dean likes his personal space.

"Were is he?"

Dean asked a surprised and speechless Castiel who was looking right and left along with Dean just without reason. Cas stared confusingly, eyebrows knotted and head tilted.

"Jimmy were is he?"

Dean verified the meaning of his words, but Castiel still entirely confused at the question

"Why would I know?"

"Because you're his twin, so you know sense him or something"

"I don't quite understand"

"You hear about those twins that were separated at birth but got the same job, married someone with the same name and even named their kids the same, so do that"

"Dean, I don't think that applies to this"

"Okay then fine, let's try the mall"

Dean started to walk right. Cas on the other hand after standing still for a split second in deep thought snapped back to reality and went left. Dean turned and watched Cas walk away for a second or two, craning his neck slightly. Before running to catch him up

"Err Cas the malls this way,"

Dean gestured to the direction he had just come, despite the fact he was behind Cas so he couldn't see,

"Not going to the mall"

"Then where?"

"Park"

"What? why?"

Dean was starting to get annoyed at Cas and the way he only said what is absolutely necessary, would it kill the guy to elaborate once in a while!

"I sensed him"

Dean stopped holding onto Cas' arm making Cas stop too.

"Excuse me"

"I must have forgot I could, it's been a long time since I have had the need to locate anyone"

Dean was looking at Cas, eyes glazed as if the information went straight over his head, obviously confused and with good reason,

"Dude you are fucking crazy you that Cas"

Castiel looked at Dean but this time, was unable to maintain his gaze and looked at his feet. The smile that formed on Dean's face after his comment soon vanished after seeing the distressing look on Cas' face and hearing him quietly say the heartbreaking words.

"So they tell me"

This made Dean feel really bad for his poor excuse of verbal skill. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the boy

"Look I'm sorry, the park yeah? Okay"

Dean walked off and led the way as a way of hiding his cherry cheeks of embarrassment, he really truly put his foot in his mouth. Dean would have said five minutes ago it would be extremely hard to hurt Cas' feelings, not that Cas seemed to have any, let alone get them hurt. But the look on Cas' face showed otherwise, it was enough to make Dean melt inside and want to look after Cas to make sure he never has reason to look that way again.


	6. Chapter 6

Jimmy was sitting on one of the old, weather worn, plastic swings at the park, rocking forward and back slowly. His breathing was heavily as he tried to calm down. Jimmy thought things over; 'changing your name after your parents die, is disgracing their memory. They gave him his name and he doesn't care, it's like he's trying to wash his hands of them completely'

At the thought of this Jimmy's grip of the swing grew. Jimmy's trail of angry thought was interrupted by a familiar voice; one he wished he would never hear again,

"Jimmy Novak, come to play have we?"

Jimmy slowly and reluctantly turned to look at a smirking Michael and his cronies. Rolling his eyes Jimmy turned back around trying to ignore them. Michael obviously amused at the reaction he received, bent down to Jimmy's ear and cruelly whispered

"You didn't answer my question earlier, do you give it to Winchester or do you like to be ridden like a bitch"

"Piss off, you stupid son of a bitch!"

Jimmy was already fuming at his 'brothers' behaviour, couldn't take anymore more shit from this loser. Jimmy stood and shoved Michael away something Jimmy, a pacifist would never do but he was just so furious.

"Getting a little touchy, am I hitting to close to home? Oh no wait that's you"

This received a huge laugh from his followers including Anna whom to this point was reluctant to join in. her head swung back and red hair waved in the air like fire as she crackled her annoyingly beautiful laugh. Jimmy watched and calmed down slightly by the sight of her smile, even if it was directed at him. Despite Anna unintentionally calming Jimmy one look at Michael's cocky face and he couldn't control himself. Jimmy ran towards him tackle him to the ground, where they wrestled punching and kicking each other.

Michael's friends were in complete shook Jimmy hated violence and here he was in a fight with the school bully and seemingly winning. Jimmy was releasing all the frustration he felt all the anger and sadness that had built up over the years. That was until he received a massive punch to the gut winding Jimmy entirely. Michael rose to his feet, now embarrassed about nearly loosing. This meant proving his manhood even more, which spelt trouble for Jimmy who was still lying on the worn out grass holding his stomach. He wiped the blood from his nose and kicked the already injured boy, once, twice three times, Jimmy winced with pain and looked up at the fuzzy crowd of watching amused bystanders, which he could tell some even had their phones out filming. Jimmy faintly saw a blurry flash of red. It was Anna she was trying to stop Michael. What he was doing was cruel and wrong but he would stop, not being much of a girl, weight wise, Michael easily evaded her attempts to stop the ass beating.

"HEY!"

Dean shouted angry and scarred for Jimmy, Dean ran in the park and straight towards Michael and shoved him away from Jimmy and up against the metal frame to the swing. After punching him in the face and side, Dean went to attend to his fallen friend.

"Jimmy, Jimmy can you hear me?"

Dean carefully held Jimmy's head; he was dazed and was not completely aware of what was happening. Dean's heart was in his mouth and stomach filled his lungs making it impossible for him to breath at the sight of the battered Jimmy.

"Hey Winchester!"

Michael goaded trying his best to sound hard. Dean ignored him and tried to get Jimmy up with as little pain as possible. Michael full of anger went to punch the unsuspecting Dean when his fist was caught in mid swing by,

"Jimmy?"

Castiel held Michael's fist and began to squeezed it causing slight pain and discomfort for Michael. Cas starred a Michael and quickly realised well, he was a dick.

"No more fighting"

Michael couldn't argue he barley heard what was said. He simply stared at Castiel then to Jimmy and back again over and over. Michael didn't like it; it was a weird and completely crazy surreal situation.

Jimmy had now regained focus he could stand on his own without Dean's help, but happily took it anyway. Dean's arm was comfortably around his waist

"How did you find me?"

Jimmy questioned faintly

"I didn't Castiel did, he just knew where you were, I think it must be a twin thing"

Slightly going of topic in amazement at how Cas managed to find Jimmy

"Dean"

Jimmy snapped Dean back to the here and now. Dean recognised the annoyed tone in his voice and he new why

"Jimmy he's calling himself Castiel whether you like it or not, why fight it"

Jimmy sadly had to agree, this wasn't altogether the dumbest thing that has come out of Dean's mouth over recent years.

After more intense and bewildered staring Michael reacted to the double the only way he knew how, violently. Michael took his fist back from this stranger with an enemies face and punched it, hard.

"What the fuck?"

Dean whispered to himself sounding slightly intimidated. The punch had little effect on Castiel but there was a shout of pain not from Castiel though from Michael. Who was now nursing his sprained wrist. Cas walked up to Michael and with one hard shove he was on the ground.

"Leave these boys alone"

Cas spoke slow and rough his voice deep and strong which echoed in Deans ears. Michael's friends helped him up and held him back as his and Cas' eyes met. Michael never ran away from a fight, but this was one even his friends could tell he'd loose. Jimmy and Dean made their way to everyone else, ignoring Michael altogether and turned to Castiel instead. Jimmy looked him up and down, debating whether to thank him or take him to a lab.

Jimmy and Cas stared at each other, they could feel every eye in the park on them, comparing their features; length of nose, shape of chin, thickness of lips, Cas' were slightly more rounded and fuller than Jimmy's Dean noted to himself. Jimmy nodded slightly at Cas, who returned the favour before letting go of Dean and limping off to a nearby bench to rest his aching muscles. Anna went to sit with Jimmy her heart went out to him; he really didn't deserve any of this. He was always kind and courteous Anna thought as she trotted over leaving behind Michael who was starring in astonishment. He mumbled some inaudible curses before him and the rest of his friends went away to undoubtedly sooth their battered egos. Leaving Anna talking with Jimmy, who really wasn't complaining and Dean staring at Cas. Dean was confused and was full of questions; who was this boy? What the hell happened to him? "What did he see nine years ago which turned him into, into this?"

Dean and Cas, stared at each other scanning over bodies, faces, lips pretending they weren't and they other wasn't either, neither feeling the need to speak. Despite opening his mouth a few times Dean didn't ask any of those probing questions knowing full well Cas wouldn't answer, not fully anyway. Dean although did feel strangely safe with Cas started to feel a little intimidated by him, which if you know Dean Winchester you would say was impossible.

Dean smiled in thanks to Cas who gave an awkward smile back. At the sight of this Dean knew by the throbbing of his heat and the pulse he felt on his tongue, that the uncompromising stubborn teenager that he was. Was willing to look past the storm of strength, and no doubt an anger to match, that lies just underneath the calm, bottomless, profound, sapphire eyes of this placid, gentle looking boy and look to the well-meaning loyal genuine person that Dean knew Castiel was.


	7. Chapter 7

**sorry theres been a long wait**

**please forgive any mistakes in spelling or grammer xxx**

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"Are you alright?" Anna asked as she lent into Jimmy trying to get the boys attention that was starring intensely as Dean and Cas.

"Peachy thanks." he snapped and flinched as she touched his arm. Anna decided not to get offended by Jimmies rudeness and changed subject knowing how hard this must be for him.

"So that's your brother?"

"What gave it away?" Jimmy tried his best to joke with the cute red head that voluntarily left her friends and decided to sit with him, it worked as she let out a sweet little giggle. "you seem pretty cool with the situation considering you've only known about him for a few hours, I've known for years and it still gives me the shivers."

"a few hours? You heard me at school."

"yeah. Your not that perfect princess" okay that didn't mean to come out it just slipped, all these years of hating and admiring this girl and she's here now, Jimmy didn't know how to act, but he knew insulting her wasn't a good idea. Anna did seem a little offended but held much of it back.

"I know I'm not perfect" she spoke with hesitant annoyance she tried to hide it but failed. Jimmy decided to go back to funny try and joke his way out of it.

"I know your spying sucks." It didn't go well.

"look I'm just trying to be nice, I could have just left you and gone of with Michael," Anna got up from the bench "god knows my life would be so much easy back at school if I had." She then turned to leave now with no idea why she had wasted her time. That was until Jimmy stood took her wrist caught her attention and spun her around to catch his gaze.

"I'm sorry." Anna sighed and smiled slightly as she forgave him. Jimmy let her wrist go and shifted slightly on his feet, he was very much a geek and has never really been in this kind of situation before so didn't really know what to do. Anna saw this and took pity on the boy after his bruises caught her eye she outstretched her hand.

"Come on I'll get you home." Dean and Castiel had his full attention as Dean was just starting to talk to him again. "they'll be okay, its you that's hurt." Anna reassured the boy as she willed him to take her hand. Jimmy looked thankful as he took it, her hand was soft and smooth whilst his was slight clammy. Jimmy walked her towards the two boys in front of them.

Castiel turned to face the approaching Jimmy. Dean wanted to say something but couldn't find the courage. There was an awkward moment when Jimmy and Cas were fixed on each other. Neither Dean or Anna and probably even the twins themselves knew how they were going to react. Jimmy slowly extended his arm the his mirror image and he did hem same, they shared an intense brotherly handshake, no words were spoken, no words were needed. they nodded to each other then Jimmy turned to Dean, who was just staring, simply staring at the two of them. It was left to Dean to break the thick silence and he did so naturally.

"Dude this is creepy" they all laughed slightly expected Castiel who stood there not understanding the humour in what sounding like a rather serious statement.

"Dean I'm going home is it okay if Eric, I mean Castiel hangout with you for a bit, its just I need ice and no doubt Sarah will have a billion questions."

"yeah sure no problem." Dean responded then Jimmy and Anna turned and walked towards the exit of the park. "bollocks its because Sarah's got questions, he just don't want to you in the way"

"I'm in the way?"

"you will be if you go home now."

"I didn't realise I was such a bother, their hospitality has been greatly appreciated but if I'm causing trouble I will gladly leave."

Dean looked at Cas, stunned and lost for words for quite a few seconds.

"are you for real?" Castiel tilted his head in confusion of course he was real other wise he wouldn't be here, why must Dean ask such confusing questions. "for fucks sake, I bet you are aren't you. Jimmy wants me to entertain you for a while so he can be alone with the hot popular girl he just left with. Get it?"

"I believe so yes." Dean rolled his eyes, how did has this kid survived for so long in one piece he's the most socially retarded person he has ever meet, ever.

"where did you learn that anyway?"

"learn what?"

"you know," Dean told am as he started to punch the air and tense his muscles "where did you learn, was thinking about getting some lessons myself."

"you don't know why to fight?" Cas asked for some unknown reason this really shocked him.

"I have a good punch, but in an actually fight Ill probably loose." Dean joked as he started to make his way to the bench recently vacated by Jimmy and Anna.

"that's not right." Cas told him as he followed.

"yeah tell me about it." Cas opened his mouth to do exactly that then found that he didn't know anything, he didn't know why Dean should be able to fight, why its in his blood. After failing in his attempt to remember he joined Dean on the bench. "so… tell me about your self." There was silence as Cas did that little head tilt thing again, what's with that? "what do you like to do."

"fly."

"fly? Like on planes, huh on your own mate."

"no with, I think remember I like to fly, its all foggy. What do you like to occupy your time?"

"well I love to drive and well draw."

"draw?"

"yeah like stretching and stuff, don't laugh"

"I don't find enough humour in you sentence to warrant a laugh."

Dean chuckled slightly but then realised Cas was being truthful, he actually spoke like that. "good." The boys sat in silence for a while searching for something to say. "you know i havn't told anyone about my drawings, dont know why i told you, not even Jimmy knows. my point is please dont tell anyone."

Cas nodded and dean smiled, then silence came back, it should have been massively awkward but on the contrary it was comfortable, Dean even closed his eyes to enjoy the peace and listen to the soothing sound of Cas' breathing. Suddenly a ball hit the floor at there feet, Dean shot up ready for another fight, one was not needed for it was Sam. "you and Jimmy wanna play basketball."

Dean looked to Cas then back at Sam, "that's not Jimmy its Castiel but yeah we'll play. Come on Cas." Dean picked up the ball and threw it at the lost and confused Sam who barley caught it. He strolled up to his brother and whispered very seriously in his ear. "I'll explain when we get home, if you mention it or act weird around him, I will end you." Sam nodded and returned to the court, which consisted of one hoop and a little bit of tarmac in a field. "Come on Cas lets play ball." Cas slowly stood and walked to the two boys already bouncing and shooting the ball, they both looked pretty good, Cas had never played. He stood on the edge of the tarmac and watched. "Come on Cas" Dean urged the boy as he took a shot. When the ball left his hands he turned and walked over to him, not even watching whether he scored or not, for the record he scored. "you alright?"

"I have never played."

"You've never played basketball?"

"No."

"Huh, it's easy come on I'll teach you." A soft smile spread across Cas' face as he followed the boy onto the court. "Cas Sam, Sam Cas."

"hi." Sam sounded a little to friendly and he felt like an idiot at how high pitched his voice was. Cas didn't verbally respond merely nodded at the younger brother.

"Right stand here, take this and throw it in that basket." Cas took the ball and looked confused at dean, there had to be something else to it, cant be that simple. Simple not easy, as Cas did throw and missed by a few metres, Sam held in a laugh as the elder Winchester was surprisingly sympathetic.

"Not bad, not bad. Try again. Aim this time." Cas held the ball and stood in a way which would be deemed wrong by any experienced ball play. After a snort of laughter he went over to try and help the hopeless boy before him. "Lower that arm, not so low, relax that hand. Move your left foot slightly, I'll show you." Dean stood behind the boy and like a moment in a chick flick, he moulded his body into he right position, gently grazing his skin shooting sparks into each other. It was a feeling that Cas hadn't felt before, he looked over his shoulder and caught Deans eye their faces were very close and both were now very aware that deans hands were on the boys waist. Sam coughed followed by Dean you tried to macho up he moved away from Cas, although the lack of warmth was painful to both but neither showed it. "okay now shoot." Cas did and again he missed, Dean started laughing. "Dude you suck."

Sam joined the laughing and an amused smile spread gentle and awkwardly across Cas' face. Dean throw the ball back to Sam put an arm around Cas' shoulders and walked of taking the boy with him, that little smile turned significantly bigger.

"See you at home Sammy. Don't worry Cas, we'll find your game. Come on I'll get you home. I think its time you had some brotherly bonding with Jimmy."

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**I have made a plan and overall plot so i now knnow where the story is going ^_^**

**hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review. **

**xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A very short chapter about Dean at dinner**

**next chapter up soon XD**

**please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes xxx**

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Due to Cas and Dean really not wanting to part though neither of them actually said it, they to a detour back to Cas' house as they walked slowly dragging their feet as they did. So by the time Dean got home, Sam was really there and had already thought of a million questions. Mary and John both new the situation and that Eric was coming home so even they too had questions, so over there late dinner was the topic of the Novak's. They were half way through dinner and no one yet had the courage to ask the first question.

"how is Eric?" Mary asked she used to baby sit for the twins and held fond memories of that chirpy happy little boy always running around and having something to talk about.

"his name is Castiel mum."

"right of course sorry honey, well how is he?"

"different, intense." Dean remarked, he was talking about that moment with the basketball, something that couldn't really be explained and was replaying in Deans mind ever since, it was werid he has never felt such electricty.

"yeah I noticed." Sam blurted out as he sniggered he knew dean too well. This caused Dean to kick him under the table and shoot his baby brother a deadly glare.

"What's going on boys?" John asked as he stared at both of them.

"Nothing dad, I just meant he stares a lot as doesn't say much, it's a bit creepy." credit goes to sam for not teasing Dean for something that was so obvious to him and dean was blind to, something that will surface soon enough sam had no doubt. though this little 'favour' was taken wrongly by Dean, who became tense and defensive.

"How is it creepy, he's more of a thinker what's wrong with that?" Dean was annoyed at what Sam said, actually annoyed that he had a bad word to say about him, that wasn't even that bad it did near to realm of creepy, he just couldn't help himself. Mary started speaking partly to continue the convocation and partly to shut the boys up how were on the brink of another argument.

"I remember it was jimmy that was more of the quite twin not poor Eric, though I suppose that's what spending half your live in a hospital does to you, you learn to pick your words wisely. But Dean's right there is nothing wrong with a strong silent type."

"It's more than that, It's like he's always trying to remember to do everything, to answer you or to smile even to breath, its like nothing comes naturally to him, he has to try so hard all his energy and mind is used up, and he has no more left more idle chit chat. I feel sorry for him it's like he's not comfortable in his own skin. What did they do to him in that hospital."

"Dean It's not the hospital that screwed him up, It's what ever he saw that night, the traumatised boy changed for good that night."

"yes mum he changed, but I wouldn't say he's screwed up, Cas is fine the way he is."

With that Dean got up and left the table, leaving a shocked family to finish their meal.

"was it something I said?"

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**Please review x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy the chapter XD**

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The thought of the next day gave Jimmy butterflies so much he felt sick in fact he was, twice. The biggest secret of his life, was now common knowledge to the school bully and the rest of the populars meaning that most of the school with probably know by the time he next goes to school. But there was something more, Anna. How would she react would she be to ashamed to speak to him even tease him to make up for standing up to Michael for him, Jimmy couldn't stand it if she used what he said to her against him.

All too soon school came around and he found Dan honking the horn of this baby telling Jimmy to get a move on. He made his way down the path and into the impala, all the while Dean was looking over his shoulder at Cas, who was watching them out the window, it didn't look like he got much sleep and spent the night tossing and turning if his hair was anything to go by, it was, dare Dean think it, sex hair. And it looked good on him. Dean shook that thought off and decided not to linger too much on it, but what he new would be useless to try and forget was the innocent half absent smile he gave him before Dean and his brother drove of to school, for fuck sake why was he so, so distracting. On their way to school Jimmy was torn between telling Dean all about his first evening with Castiel or what happened with Anna, he decided to ask Dean which he would prefer and the other story could wait till lunch. Dean opted for knowing what Castiel got up to last night, using the excuse that 'blood is thicker than water.'

"It was really awkward when he got back, he didn't eat anything or seem to know anything he would want to do, I doubt he's really been given much of a choice of recreational activities before, I just think he was a stunned. I'm sure he likes to do something. It's like he's just stepped out a fucking bubble."

"Well he kind of has Jimmy."

"Yeah, anyway I ended up teaching him poker, I basted won £15 of me, and it was his first time playing!"

"Ha, so you had fun then."

"Yeah it wasn't too bad, he's not much of a talker but he did tell me how in the hospital they used to strap him to bed because he kept escaping, even when the door was locked and when he was strapped he still escaped! He doesn't remember how he did it know though."

"Wow so he's like Houdini."

"don't think so, I tied him up and locked him in a closet, 3 hours later he was still there."

"Jimmy? Are you serious?"

"No I'm joking you idiot, but you know what he did do, put that £15 under my pillow last night, he wouldn't take the money, prick. now I feel guilty." Dean couldn't help but laugh, he could really see similarities between them and him and sam, apart from Dean would probably have tied sam and left him in the closet.

"I'm happy you're bonding."

"He did like to hear about you though."

"Really?"

"I'm glad can't imagine he has many friends."

"Well he's a great guy."

"Yeah, he likes you." Dean was going to reply but they pulled into school just as the bell went and had to rush of to different rooms, great Dean thought now that last comment is just hanging there, he can't go back to it and ask what he meant because that would seem really desperate and slightly weird. So instead it will plague his mind, which is something else that is worrying him, it was an innocent remark it shouldn't be occupying his mind, he shouldn't be thinking of it so much at all really.

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It was lunch time and Jimmy walked down the corridor searching for Dean to tell him all about Anna, when speak of the devil, she steps in front of him with a huge smile of her face.

"Hey you."

"Erm hi" Jimmy answered with slight hesitance as he shuffled slightly as he looked around.

"What, you ashamed to be seen with me Novak?"

"No, not at all, aren't you?"

"Why would I? Come on." Anna took Jimmy by the hand and led his out to the field; they sat down under an old tree that was planted to remember an old head master or something. Jimmy was on cloud nine, and he wasn't even show who this happened, it felt like a dream, this has been his dream before, he's probably dreaming. "Jimmy are you alright."

"This just doesn't feel real. I mean your beautiful and popular and you're here with me under a tree, willingly." Anna laughed a little, before leaning in and giving Jimmy a light kiss on the cheek making the poor boy blush.

"Does that feel real? I don't know, I'm bored of jocks there all the same. You're different you can do something no other guy seems to genuinely be able to do."

"And what's that?"

"You make me laugh. I dont think I have ever laughed the way you made me laugh yesturday or so hard, and you know something I don't even remember what was so funny."

"Really me funny? Wow thanks." Anna smile and giggled slightly again and she smiled

"You're welcome." They was silence for a few seconds before Anna asked the question that could have gone either way, "how did it go with your brother? I know you were worried about it."

"It was okay I guess, he just doesn't seem normal you know."

"Well he was in a hospital for years, don't know about that but that would have driven me mad."

"yeah I suppose, it's just I don't know how to be around him, the last time I was with him, we were still playing cops and robbers, chasing each other with sticks and having cookies and milk on the porch, things have changed. We grew up, we've grown apart Anna."

"Jimmy look at me, your parents died, Castiel is the last part of the family you once had, and now you have him back, you can't just give up on him."

"When did you get to be so wise Anna, how are you so perfect?"

"Stop it you'll make me blush." They smiled at each other, a smile of fondness and growing affection.

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Dean was looking for Jimmy that lunch time and as he walked up to the field, the scene before him blew his mind. Jimmy was having a lunch date with Anna, Anna one of the most popular and beautiful girls in school. Dean felt pride for Jimmy, but mostly his mind was filled with an idea a cunning scheme that just might work, but it was stupid and reckless. But Jimmy was occupied it wasn't like he was ditching him and Dean really wanted to do it, it was perfect. So without attraction Jimmies attention he turned and walked away, away from the field and the school and towards the car park.

"Winchester, where do you think you're going?" came a well spoken, strong ,well pronounced voice behind the boy, as he tuned he saw Mrs Spring, very tall very strict and rather intimidating, for most pupils anyway.

"I'm going to collect my little brother from his school and take him home miss, he's ill and my parents are working."

"Every well, but I'm watching you Winchester, I shall be here at the end of lunch to make sure you are back, you understand." With a nod of agreement Mrs spring left satisfied that the lye was the truth. Thankfully Mrs spring is as old as she is strict so he forgets that he has used that excuse many times over the years, especially now as Sam's in his sophomore year and goes the same school now, actually come to think it dean was sure she took sam for history. Dean shrugged it off, he really didnt care, there was only one thing Dean was thinking of as got into his car and drove off.

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**Please review x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope you enjoy the chapter**

**I would like to offer my usual warning for any spelling and grammar mistakes.**

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Dean drove faster he perhaps should have and was a little too excited then the occasion deserves and the butterflies, well Dean had no excuse for them they were just, they just were. After a few minutes his this reckless driving Dean pulled up outside the familiar block of flats, quite frankly amazed and rather proud that he didn't get a ticket or you know crash at all. Dean darted towards the buzzer with so much speed he had no time to stop and push the button so literally fell onto it. No answer. Dean rang again, once again no one answered. Dean pulled out his cell phone and pushed the number for speed dial, it didn't even occur to him that it was a little strange to have that number on speed dial especially because he was still basically a stranger.

"Answer your phone damn it." Dean said as all he heard was the continuous ring instead of the voice he was hoping for. After rolling his eyes half at annoyance he still wasn't inside but mostly at his own stupidity as Dean went to the Impala and fetched a spare key that was given to him years ago but has had no use for, up to know. Dean let himself into the building and into the flat. It was empty, yes it should be at this time but not today, he should be here.

"Hello?" Dean called out as he wondered into the room, Dean walked to the couch and his eyes were instantly drawn to the figure right under his noise, actually lying on the floor. On his knees, face on the floor and ass in the air, a rather good ass Dean thought as he unintentionally had a quick glance before snapping back to reality. He was mumbling something inaudible didn't even sound English.

"Hello Dean." The voice rumbled throughout the room and took Dean by surprised especially because the boy has yet to open his eyes and acknowledge his presence. "What are you doing here?" that same gravely voice kept ringing in Dean's ears coursing vibrations to shiver down his spine and tingle in his fingers. Strange.

"Well honestly Cas I don't really know." The boy stopped what he was doing stood and turned to face him. It was only now he realised Cas was well and truly topless, bare chested showing the world his pectorals, his firm well sculpted body. Dean had to move to the kitchen area and have his back to Cas so's to stop staring at him. After a few breaths Dean calmed down a little and turned back around. "What err, what were you doing?"

"Praying."

"Praying?"

"Yes. To my father."

"Your father?"

"God."

"Huh" Dean was admittedly getting a little freaked and a lot confused so changed the subject. "What were you saying, it err didn't sound like English."

"It wasn't."

"Cas you've got to learn to elaborate."

"I was speaking Latin."

"you speak Latin."

"etiam ego operor ego sententia ut obvious ut vos ingredior in quod auditus mihi vestri quare operor vos nuto meus potestas efficio is vos turbo mihi Dean"

"Okay I get it. Show off." Dean sat on the kitchen table and gesture for Cas to join him, Cas simply stood there with slight confusion fused into his brow, he didn't seem to understand Dean's offer. "You want to sit down?" Cas nodded and did so.

"What are you doing here? School is as I believe still in session shouldn't you be there?"

"It's lunch time. Besides I kinda wanted to be here."

"Why?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"I'm trying to understand."

"Yeah I know. I'm sorry. Truth is I don't know why. I just kinda wanted to see you."

"Thank you Dean, people seem to feel the opposite."

"Well not me." Cascrookedsmile blessed Cas' face with grace, his smile was getting for comfortable on his face, it seemed that he hadn't had much to smile about in recent years.

"Thank you." Cas looked to Dean who was goofily smiling and staring at the table, deliberately not looking at Cas. He gets a weird tingling when he dies so decides it would be best not to.

"Why, why didn't you answer the buzzer?"

"What buzzer?"

"The thing that buzzed when I wanted to get in."

"Oh I didn't know what it was, so I ignored it."

"I see." the two sat in silence both staring at the other but never at the same time. After a while Cas caught Dean's eye and spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"I like your company Dean."

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but as he did his phone alarm went off.

"Great." Dean mumbled even Cas saw this was sarcastic.

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, hmm no I just got to go back to school."

"Why?" Cas asked and if Dean didn't know any better he could have sworn the boy sounded a little panicky as he tensed up completely.

"Lunch time is over. Gotta get back." The two boys looked at each other not really knowing how to say good bye and desperately not wanting too. Dean couldn't think of what to say that didn't sound really, really dumb. "Can I come back tomorrow?" at this Cas' face was blessed once again with a beautiful gracful smile and his body seemed to relax into the chair and he almost looked like a normal person sitting on a chair and not a stiff, nervous, shy, socially backward teenager that knew nothing of the real world.

"Yes of course, I would like that." After exchanging awkward smiles and nods Dean rushed out the door and back to school. On the way back Dean came to the conclusion that Cas must be sexualy frustrated which explained the tenseness. Although most probably true, what teenage boy isn't, this thought was something Dean was not going to share with Jimmy that would be really weird and besides he might come to the wrong conclusion. As to why this thought popped into Dean's head in the first place remained a mystery and why this thought putan odd smile on his face all the way back was also a mystery one Dean was not going to question.

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	11. Chapter 11

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Dean rushed back to school, and got there just in time for the bell. Sure enough Mrs spring was waiting for him in the car park.

"Cutting it fine Winchester." She remarked as he shot past her to get to class. 'perfect' Dean thought as he strolled down the corridor, English with Mrs Jetson, why? Dean grit his teeth as he stepped into the class room. Murmurs that circled the room soon stopped as Dean entered, it was obvious the topic of the class discussion. As Dean sat two more late comers entered the room as well; Jimmy and Anna. Together, smiling, looking slightly flushed. Eyes followed them to their seats. As Jimmy sat in his, Dean lent over and said to his best friend.

"Well, this needs explaining." Jimmy smiled he was so happy.

"Sure, after school." Mrs Jetson stood to begin the class, she didnt even bother to take the register anymore, just another sign of how these classes didnt matter one bit.

"Okay, well today I want everyone to write a letter to someone of your choice about anything you like, but make it personal, make it powerful. It could be a confession to a lover a catch up with a friend or even a letter to the president or the head teacher. Get started."

The class grumbled and got their paper out and began, it seemed mrs. jetson really had ran out of ideas. The class worked in silence, until the bell went and Cas and Dean shoved their letters in their bags and left rushing to the next class along wiht every one else in the class. Unfortunately on the way to science, Michael and his minions wanted a word with Dean and Jimmy.

"Hey!" he shouted at them.

"Ignore them Dean, please" Jimmy begged, Dean nodded and they kept walking. They soon caught up and Michael grabbed Jimmy whilst the other restrained Dean. After pushing him against the lockers Michael invaded Jimmies personal space and made him feel really awkward.

"You're going to pay for what that freak did to me Novak." Out of no where Jimmy felt a surge of power and anger, he shoved Michael back and walked right up to him squaring up to him face inches apart.

"That freak happens to be my brother and if you want to get to him, you have to go through me you prick!"

"Is there a problem here?" a middle aged man with dark hair and light brown eyes asked as he peered over the top of his glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. He peered to the boys who soon let Dean go and Jimmy and Michael backed down. "I'm waiting. What is going on here? Michael?"

"Nothing sir."

"Really." He didn't believe them for a minute but had been teaching for long enough to know finding this sort of thing out was like getting blood from a stone. So he left it. "fine, get to class boys." They scurried off. Dean looked to Jimmy so was so proud.

"Didn't know you had it in you."

"Well, you know."

"Yeah I do. he's your brother when it comes to him, you'll do anything."

"I guess you're right." Jimmy told him as he smiled to himself, Cas was his brother.

Science class was the same as any other science class, it was tedious and long the time seemed to go three times slower. Dean fell asleep at least three times, every time dreaming of a certain someone it freaked him out and calmed him down at the same time which just completely threw him.

* * *

Soon but in no way soon enough it was the end of school.

"So?" Dean asked Jimmy as they left the class room.

"So what?"

"You and Anna, what's going on there? I saw you to looking comfy at lunch." Dean said as he nudged his friend playfully.

"Oh, yeah."

"Do you like her?"

"Yeah I think I do. I mean who wouldn't."

"I'm pleased for you." He said with a genuine smile on his face. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Jimmy answered whilst a crimson glow appeared on his cheeks, after a stiff shrunk he continued "probably nothing, she's a little out my league Dean, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I don't think she thinks so Jimmy. Have you seen the way she's been looking at you?" Jimmy blushed and couldn't stop the smile appear on his face. They got to the impala where Sam was already waiting for them.

"Ask her out." Dean instructed his friends as he unlocked the car Sam climbed right in without a word. "no." Jimmy told him with a hint of amusement in his voice,

"Pussy." Dean called him after making sure Sammy was in the car and out of ear shot.

"Hey."

"Get in chicken shit." Dean quickly said before hoping in himself, annoying Jimmy greatly, how can he combat that with Sammy in the back seat? he couldn't swear Dean would kill him. Although Sam already knew it all it didn't matter to him.

"Whatever." He mumbled. They drove in silence for a few moments before Dean plucked up the courage.

"You and Cas doing anything tonight?"

"Don't think so probably just watch TV. Can you believe they only let him watch an hour a day in the hospital and that's only if he was good?"

"That explains why he's more of the intellectual type."

"Yeah I guess" Jimmy said slowly wondering why dean said that, it was a really random comment, he choose not to say anything about it. Wasn't worth it. "Do you fancy coming over for dinner, maybe we could play some streets of rage on the mega drive?" It took a lot for Dean to keep a neutral and unphased face, when everything in him lit up at the prospect of going around.

"Yeah sure, but you know I'll win."

"Ha you wish, you'll be lucky if you get any kills playing with Castiel, he's like a ninja. It's like he seriously knows what's coming, it's freaky. It was his first time playing it and he got double my points!"

"That's because you suck dude."

"Fuck you." Dean gave Jimmy a side ways punch and glared at him "ouch." Dean continued to glare and gestured to Sammy in the back.

"Erm Dean?" Sam piped up and lent forward. "You know I'm not a baby right? It's not like I don't swear."

"Oh yeah right, what's the worst thing you know 'bloody hell' or 'god damn it' I bet. Well thanks to Jimmy it's probably fuck."

"No."

"Go on what is it then Sammy?"

"Well for one thing my science teacher, he's a weird fucking faggy cunt."

Deans eyes widened and he hit the brakes instantly, screeching down the road until he came to a complete stop. He turned and faced Sam.

"What did you just say!"

"Look I'm sorry if you think of me as innocent but I do know about life."

"Obviously not you little basted, you do not use that word!"

"What cunt?"

"That to, it's a disgusting and unclassy word but no, the word faggy or fag or faggot. You do not use those words. It's offensive and wrong."

"Geez Dean cool it okay."

"You know what? Get out, you're walking."

"What! Dean it's like 12 blocks!"

"Well you should have thought of that being talking like a dirty homophobe, get out the fuck out of my car!" Sam go out making sure to slam the door as he did, dean instantly drove of with not even a back wards glance in the mirror. even when sam yelled after them. "I'm sorry!"

"Little harsh dean."

"Don't start jimmy."

"No I agree it was offensive but he shouldn't have to walk."

"You wanna walk with him? keep him company?"

"No."

"Sorry Jimmy. Just can't believe that's my baby brother back there you know?"

"Yeah, it's okay." There was silence until Dean pulled up at Jimmies. "You still coming round?"

"Sure just let me go home and drop some stuff off, have a word with mum and I'll be over in, an hour?"

"Sure." Jimmy got out and as he walked up the path, Dean's eyes were drawn to the figure at the window, it was Cas staring at him and Dean had no trouble in staring back. Jimmy turned to wave a Dean as he could still hear the impala, only to see that Dean's gaze was otherwise distraction. He looked from Dean to Cas and back to Dean, after a few uncomfortable moment he slowly turned and went inside with scene outside firmly imbeded in his mind.

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	12. Chapter 12

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Dean kept his word and returned to Jimmies place in an hour. Dean and Jimmy were sat on the sofa setting up the afore promised streets of rage.

"Where's Sarah?"

"Shopping she'll be back soon. What did your parents say about Sam?"

"Well he came in just as they asked about him, couldn't to it to the little bastard to so told them he walked jess home. Sam agreed, his face was so pathetic, he's my baby brother I couldn't do it to him."

"Well I'm sure he won't be saying anything like that again."

"hope not." There was silence for a few moments.

"Dean?" Jimmy started as he search for the controllers.

"Hmm."

"Do you like Cas?" he asked as he turned around to face his friend, who blushed slightly and couldn't hold Jimmies eye.

"Yeah, he's not how I remember him, but then again who is the same as they were when they were eight. He's a good guy, why?" he asked as he took a controller and they started the game.

"Just wondering, because we got talking about you, he said that you came around at lunch time." Dean froze as he heard what Jimmy had to say and subsequently was knifed and killed on the game.

"Erm, yeah." Dean stuttered as he focused his attention on the controller and pressing start to come back to life.

"Why?" Dean shrugged and it wasn't a lye he really didn't know and before Jimmy could push things Castiel walked in. "Hi Castiel." Jimmy greeted his brother, Dean hadn't noticed him enter and jerked his head to catch sight if him, which led to him dying, again. Dean cursed under his breath and then when Cas came and sat on the chair next to the sofa, Dean spent more time looking at Cas then the screen.

"Dean pay attention, I cant keep saving your ass, I'm loosing too much health."

"Sorry man." Dean knew he was acting like a complete twat so decided to pay full attention to the screen and win.

The game was soon over and Dean stuck to his word and beat Jimmy, by double points. The boys sat in silence for a few moments, when Dean started to talk, to Cas.

"So Cas, you like it here?"

"Yes thank you, Sarah is very kind to let me into her home and Jimmy has been good to me, I am comfortable here."

"I'm glad." After another moments silence Dean took a deep breath and asked the question that's been bothering him for some time. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What do you remember, before the hospital?"

"Dean that's enough, Castiel you don't have to answer that." Jimmy interjected with an elbow into Dean's side,

"No, Jimmy It's fine. Before the hospital." Cas began to thought it was clear he was struggling "It's a blur, I think I'm missing a life, a millennia's worth of sights and sounds, but I don't feel it. Sometimes I think I remember but then I forget instantly, It's frustrating."

"I hope you remember."

"If I'm meant to I'm sure I will."

"Yeah."

"Cas you want a game?"

"No thank you I, I, ahhhhh." Cas fell from the chair to his knees, he clasped his head as he cried in pain.

"Cas! Jimmy what do we do?"

"I don't know, Castiel? Can you hear me?" Cas gripped his head as he fell on his side and shut his eyes even tighter.

"Jimmy call an ambulance!" a panicked Dean barked and Jimmy did so, his hands shaky it was hard for him just to hold the phone, Dean crouched by the quivering boy and continued, "Cas it's Dean, can you hear me?" Cas nodded, only slightly any movement was excruciatingly painful. "Do you trust me?" Dean asked.

"Of course." Cas stuttered and struggled to get out.

"Then open your eyes."

"What!" Cas spoke again with the same shaky voice he was almost passing out from the pain. Jimmy shot out of the room and into the street waiting to flag down the ambulance.

"Listen to me, having your eyes shut, creates a force on your head, relax and the pain will lesson slightly, and if you have your eyes closed you're more likely to fall unconscious."

"You don't understand, it's dangerous!"

"Please Cas." he couldn't deny Dean anything, even though he knew it was wrong, he didn't know why, but shutting his eyes meant what ever it was, was staying in. Cas shot his eyes open, as soon as he did a bright white light shot from his eyes, he screamed over and over he felt as if he was melting, the light was boiling his insides. The light also began creep out of his open and screaming mouth.

"Dean!" Cas shouted through his agonising pain. It was too late Dean was lying unconscious on the floor, tears of blood streaming down his cold cheeks. "No!" Cas choking, red coating the floor as he coughed up an alarming amount of blood, at least three pints.

Images started to flash through his mind, he saw the sky, a women on the ceiling and a fire, yellow eyes and he saw, wings. Suddenly he felt something on his back, it was heavy and then out of nowhere, gorgeous dove white feathers surrounded the crying bleeding light-shimmering boy. He just wanted to die.

The light was blinding not to his eyes that were half full of these images and half full of tears but blinded his mind, he could no long speak, scream, move or even breathe. As he became limp his eyes were still open, the light began to fade, as did the feathers, they seemed to fade into the room, though they seemed gone his back was still heavy, the images continued, flashes of places and faces, he saw one last face before the light left, it was a face of familiarity and dread.

Out of the silence that was left behind Castiel from no where jumped up out of his comatose state and screamed once more, one his hands and knees he panted gasping for the air he was denied for so long clasping his chest to cheek he was actually still alive, sure enough he found his heart racing, thumping out of his chest at a mile a minute.

"What? What just happened?" the poor boy asked himself as he looked around and saw he was kneeling in his own blood, his eyes caught sight of the boy laying in the middle of the room. "Dean." Cas crawled to his side and stared for a second, before he brought a shaky hand to wiped the blood away, as soon as skin touched skin, Dean felt a shock of electricity pass through his body and circled around his eye sockets. Dean suddenly gasped and sat up quickly, panting as much as Cas, he looked around the room and he could see. He caught Cas' eye and Dean crawled back.

"Dean," Cas whispered, hurt that he recoiled from him.

"You, what happened? What are you!"

"Dean I'm sorry."

"I don't understand Cas!"

"Neither do I! please." tears were falling from each cheek Dean needed answers, what just happened was impossible, Cas just needed Dean, he needed answers too and was just as scarred.

"I'm sorry Cas, I cant."

"Don't say that." Dean got to his feet and Cas followed, grabbing Dean's arms, begging for him to stay, Dean wanted to, even considering everything that has happened he still wanted to help to hold Cas and tell him everything was going to be okay, but how did he know? He didn't, everything was not okay, nothing about what just happened was okay.

"I'm sorry, I cant right now." Dean tried to push Cas of, a little to hard the poor slipped in his own blood fell and hit the corner of the table, once again falling unconscious. Dean froze, what has he done?

"Cas? Cas!" Dean crouched over him he wasn't moving, "Oh god!" the door swung open and Dean peered to see two paramedics rushing toward the boy, when Dean looked down he saw Cas starting to open his eyes, the noise but have woke him. Jimmy grabbed Dean and pulled him out the way, so the professional could work.

"Castiel?" one asked while the other got some oxygen out. "Can you hear me son? You're going to be okay, you've lost a lot of blood." He told him taking note of the pool they were kneeling in. "we're taking you to the hospital."

"no!" Cas shouted and tried to get up, he didn't want to go. He hated hospitals. "I don't need to go." Cas managed to struggle free and stand up, much to the dismay of the paramedics. Cas was still weak on his feet and the heavy feeling on his back was still very present, so his knees gave way and he fell back down unable to stand under such weight. The paramedics then quickly gave Cas something to help him sleep and got him to the stretcher and took him away.

"you were here when this happened?" Dean nodded "then come with us, you can fill us in on the way." After Jimmy squeezed his arm and gave him a nod Dean gulped and followed the paramedics, this was going to be an interesting convocation.

Leaving jimmy in the flat. He felt sick at the sight of so much blood, he hated blood couldn't even watch casualty without feeling nauseous. He had to clear it up, hopefully before Sarah got back. Jimmy started to scrub and after a few moments the deep red liquid and the strong stench of iron was making him dizzy, when he tried to stand to get some air, Jimmy slipped and fell into the remaining puddle of Cas' blood, it tipped him over the edge. Just as he was throwing up in the kitchen sink Sarah walked in, she dropped the shopping at the sight that greeted her.

"Jimmy?" he turned as he finished and looked at her, Sarah went white, Jimmy was being sick covered in blood and Castiel and Dean was no where to be seen. "What on gods name has happened?"

"Castiel, rushed to hospital." Is all jimmy could answer as he turned around to throw up again.

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	13. Chapter 13

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Cas was still sleeping from the injection the paramedics gave him, Dean held his hand the entire time in the ambulance and in the hospital sitting by his side staring as his face and taking note of his breathing. It was only when the nurse asked him to let go so she could take some of Cas' blood, did he realise he was doing so, he blushed as the nurse winked at him and smile as he left. As she left Dean stared as his hands for a few minutes, he didn't understand the urge to continue to hold him. As he moved to hold Cas' warm palm again, Jimmy and Sarah came in making him jump and quickly shove his hands deep in his pockets.

"Sarah how you doing?" Dean asked as he stood giving her the seat next to the bed.

"Good thank you, how is he?"

"Don't know, I'm not family so they can't tell me anything, fucking doctors."

"Dean."

"Sorry Sarah." Dean walked to Jimmy who was standing at the foot of Cas' bed.

"Hey man, you okay?"

"No, no Dean I'm not. He looks so helpless. I cant loss him Dean, I've just got him back."

"Hey, you won't okay, he'll be okay."

"He lost so much blood Dean."

"I know." He said as he looked to his own clothes that was red and sticky with Cas' blood.

"Go and change Dean."

"I want to be here. If that's okay?"

"Please Dean, there's nothing you can do here and the smell is making me feel sick." Dean nodded, took the car keys sarak gave him and assured them he won't be long. He was true to his word, we was back in twenty minues. Dean resumed his place by Jimmy's side. The boys exchanged and friendly smile and they both went back to staring at the boy in the bed. "How long before he wakes up?"

* * *

Neither the paramedics nor the doctors could not explain what happened to Cas. Dean's story was that after Jimmy ran out to get the ambulance Cas started to vomit blood and when he tried to stand he slipped and fell, hitting his head of the corner of the table and fell unconscious, not too far from the truth. One snag to this story, when the boy got to the hospital, he was covered in blood but there was no sign of a wound on his head and after tests, nothing was wrong internally, in fact Cas was a picture of health.

The doctors even resorted to taking a sample of his blood, and compared it to the blood that coated his body and the floor of his living room, believing it to be some strange and rather twisted joke. They were wrong the blood was Cas'. at the very least he should have need a blood transplant but no. After a few hours he woke up the mass loss of blood didn't seem to effect him, and he could leave a few hours after waking. Despite the doctors suggestions to rest as much as he could and be wheeled to the car, Cas got up and walked out the hospital, not wanting to be in a moment longer than he needed to be.

Though he was still a little shaky on his feet, mostly due to the shook of everything, plus Cas was still not used to the extra weight still present on his shoulders. Something he successfully avoided telling the Doctors. Cas walked out of hospital holding on to Sarah for support, Dean was too shy to offer himself as a human crutch he thought it would be a little weird. The doctors were not all together happy to see him go, they were all concerned about him, something was wrong, no one losses that much blood and walks away without an effect. They first thought it was down to some strange drug effect, but found nothing in his blood stream to credit such a theory, so as the doctors watched him leave they were simply baffled. They did want to keep him in over night for observation but there was a Car crash and they needed the beds, they couldn't allow a perfectly healthy young boy to stay whilst there was a man bleeding to death that needed urgent assistance.

The car ride back was silent Sarah was driving, Cas in the front and Dean and Jimmy in the back, it was made extremely awkward for Jimmy, as he had to watch Cas and Dean stare at each other through the mirror the whole way home, made worse by them not knowing he saw and him being too embarrassed to say anything. 'what the fuck was going one between his best friend and my brother!' was all that Jimmy's mind was shouting at him as he stared out the window for the second half of their journey home, trying not to notice it. Jimmy invited Dean back and he excepted as he always did. Jimmy help his brother inside as Dean and Sarah followed. Jimmy took him straight to his room and put him to bed and ordered he stay there and not get up, much to Dean disappointment.

* * *

"Dean we need to talk." Jimmy told him as he sat on the sofa, swiftly joined by Dean.

"Sure whats up."

"You and Cas."

"Not sure what your getting at."

"I think you do. You spend a lot of your time with him, you are probably the only person that excepted him completely at first, you two look at each other when you think no ones looking and I have to know."

"What?"

"Do you like him more than me? I mean I know he's your friend too but your like my brother and I don't want to loose your friendship and trust me I know how weird that sounds." Dean couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

"You're jealous."

"No I'm not, well maybe a little."

"Jimmy you've been my closet friend for my entire life, you are irreplaceable to me, you understand?"

"Same to you."

"Good, now cant we stop with the chick flick moment, I can feel my masculinity steadily slipping away as we speak."

"It's just you and Castiel."

"Me and Castiel are, we're friends Jimmy. But, oh god I can't lye to you."

"You feel something for him." Dean went bright red as he looked away, he hated that Jimmy could read his mind.

"No, yeah. I don't know. He's just. There's just something. I'm so confused Jimmy."

Dean fought a losing battle against the tears that were desperately fighting to break free from his tightly shut eyes. Jimmy's arm wrapped around Dean's shoulder and hugged his confused and shaking friend.

"It's okay Dean, where ever your heart point you to, you'll still be my brother."

"Thank you." Dean whispered, but standing and pacing the living for a while as he composed himself he hated crying and hated people seeing it even more. When he was happy the tears had stopped he sat back down.

"I think you should know something about Cas. Something that happened when you left." Dean told him, now sounding quite stern and serious. He proceeded to tell him about the light the strange burning white light and streamed heavily from Cas' eyes and mouth, then about the excruciating pain he felt as he saw it, then the darkness he felt. Jimmy went from shock to disbelieve to angry, teething fury filled him completely. Remembering how his parents died, a white light their eyes burnt out and Eric in the back sit not a mark on him, it was painfully similar. Jimmy sat frozen on the sofa eyes wide and breathing heavy.

"Jimmy?"

"Your eyes?"

"I think so, but I'm fine now."

"How is any of this possible?"

"I don't know; when Cas is stronger we can ask."

"Fuck that." Jimmy told him before storming form the living room to Cas' room followed swiftly by Dean. After the door swung open Cas' eyes darted up to the two at the door way.

"Hello."

"Who are you? What are you!"

"Excuse me?" Cas asked honestly and rightfully confused.

"Jimmy." Dean told him and took his arm and tried to removed him from the room.

"No!" Jimmy told him and wriggled his arm free from Dean's grasped and walked towards Cas a little. "Dean told me about the light, the fucking burning white light, that came from you. Does this ring any bells, you remember you did the same thing the night you killed my parents!"

"Jimmy, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You are impossible! How can you do the things you do! How can you take a punch that sprains Michael's wrist and doesn't even mark you! How can you best his strength with one arm! How can you loss about half your blood and walk out of hospital hours later! Without any medical attention! How can you burn Dean's eyes out then fix them with one fucking touch! And how the fuck can you sit there and pretend to be Eric!" a single lone tear fell down Cas' right cheek as he stared into Jimmies eyes, all he saw was hatred. Cas was speechless there was nothing he could say in response. Dean's heart broke as he heard the words that fell from Jimmy's mouth they sounded so cruel and bitter, he stepped from and put a hand on Jimmies shoulder.

"Come on man, leave it, calm down a bit yeah." Jimmy huffed and turned to leave, Cas sat up a little in bed.

"Wait, you want answers. I want that too, I'm just as confused as you. But you're welcome to the information I know." The boys turned and sat on Cas' bed both needing answers as much as the next

"Well?" Jimmy demanded.

"Dean was truthful about the light, when I thought about my past about before the hospital. I'm not sure what happened but it seemed to be a trigger. Aside from the pain, I saw images."

"Images?" Jimmy asked confused.

"Yes, like flashed of faces and places, memories I think."

"You felt pain?" Dean asked, even though in hindsight the sight of him on the floor in tears screaming in pain, his question was stupid.

"Yes, very much so."

"What was it like?"

"I felt as if I was burning in my own skin, I think it was the light. It was boiling my organs I could felt then liquefy and my eyes melt as I swallowed my tongue."

"Oh god that's awful." Dean felt really bad for him, Jimmy listened and finaly spoke up.

"How are you still alive? Don't get me wrong I think I'm glad at that fact, but if what you've said is true then surly you should be dead."

"I know, believe me when I say death was a very favourable option. I think the light healed me and is what healed Dean."

"But what is it?"

"I think it was my soul." The boys were silent.

"You know how crazy that sounds right, I'm not being funny Castiel but I think they released you to soon." Dean shot daggers at jimmy

"What part of any of this is sane Jimmy, leave offokay. Go on Cas. tell us about the images."

"I saw a women, blonde mid twenties I think, she was. pinned to the ceiling as a fire tore though her house. I saw another women, red head slim and I think she's in charge or used to be, there was an air of disappointment around her. And there was,"

"Was what?" Cas stared eyes glazed he was in some sort of trance.

"My brother." Cas whispered "Uriel."

"What the fuck are you talking about." Jimmy exclaimed "I'm your bother."

"No, your Eric's brother." He spoke in that same neutral tone he spoke in before, eyes still fixed on something neither Dean nor Jimmy could see.

"What are you?" Jimmy asked suddenly quite scared and weary. Cas looked at him and his trance was broken. He seemed to have forgotten the last few things he said.

"Cas it's Dean, listen to me. Who it Uriel?" Cas cracked a subtle amused smile, why would he know?

"I have no idea, why'd you ask?" Jimmy could not take any more and he stormed out.

* * *

"I'm sorry Dean, I wish I could help." Cas' concern seemed genuine Dean felt so sorry for the boy, he moved closer to him sitting inches away. Their eyes were locked both as clueless at what was happening as the other. Dean leant forwards slightly and Cas followed suit, their lips touched gently as they shared a tender chaste loving kiss, it was over quick too quick but was enough to put a blush in both boys cheeks. Dean brought a hand to Cas' cheek who melted into the contact.

"What ever is happening with you, we will find out and deal with it, together."

"Thank you." Dean placed another soft kiss on Cas' dry lips before getting up to leave the room and Cas to his thoughts, Cas didn't like this plan. He grabbed Dean's arm and caught his eye. "Please stay with me." Dean pried Cas hand away and knelt on the floor to be roughly the same eye line as Cas.

"I'm just going to see if Jimmy is okay. I will come back, soon. I promise." Cas believed him completely and after a kiss on the forehead Cas reluctantly let him leave.

Dean marched into the living room to confront Jimmy just as Sarah came out of the kitchen.

"Dinners ready boys." Sarah, Jimmy and Dean ate at the table while Sarah took Cas his to eat in his room, as far as she was concerned his was bed ridden for the next few days. The dinner went quickly silently and awkwardly both boys knew they were going to have it out and Sarah could feel the tension but did not want to get in the middle of it, not when she had to leave for an all night shift in half an hour, when the meal was over the boys said good bye and waved her off. As soon as she left, Jimmy turned to Dean.

"I am not apologising."

"Yes you fucking are."

"Why should I!"

"Because the things you said to him were horrible Jimmy, you must be able to see that." Jimmy backed down, of course he did of course he knew he was a jerk, but he also knew he had a bloody good reason.

"Dean, Castiel is not my brother, he is crazy."

"You could say he is many things Jimmy but crazy is not one of them. You've seen what he can do; he isn't making any of this up."

"Really?"

"Yes, whether you want to believe it or not he is your brother you have to deal!"

"Fuck you Dean, you have no idea what I'm going through."

"Then tell me! You shut me out of this part of your life for nine years Jimmy, for nine years you refused to talk about it. And I accepted it, I thought it was the best thing for you. But all it did was warp your understanding of the events that happened. You blame that boy in there because he was there, that's it. Its based on nothing else and it was easy for you because he wasn't here now he is and you have to except that you are wrong."

"I am not wrong Dean, that isn't Eric. Eric died nine years ago. I don't even know what that is in there." Dean could not believe Jimmy, he was so angry he hit him, punch him in the face. After falling to the floor Jimmy got up and again and stormed straight into his room.

"Jimmy." Dean called regretting it instantly.

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Dean made his way back to Cas, feeling stupid and drained. Without a word Dean walked off his shoes and climbed into bed with Cas. He curled up and rested his head on the boys chest. Cas a little suprised at first soon wrapped him arms around him and kissed him on the forehead. No words were needed they lay in silence for the best part of an hour fingers running over skin in circles and swirls making hairs stand on end, the soft contact of skin and skin gave Dean Goosebumps and Cas shivers. Dean drifted into sleep, his body spread across Cas' so he went up and down slightly as Cas breathed. He woke to find Cas too asleep. After looking at the time Dean instantly got up being careful not to wake the boy next to him. It was three o'clock in the morning.

"Shit, shit, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, my mum is gong to fucking kill me." Just as he was about to leave the room, a car drove past head lights shining in the window, casting shadows throughout the room, revealing something impossible. Dean saw a shadowy outline of wings draped over the bed and along the floor, they were coming from Cas. This was crazy. Dean couldn't believe it, he only saw it for a second and his eyes are tired. Beside he was just laying in the part of the bed he saw it he didn't feel anything, Dean was just being a twat, after a short nervous laugh he shook his head and brushed it aside. He opened the door with one more look to the sleeping boy he left, snuck out of the house drove home and snuck into his room.

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**reviews make me :D lol xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Thursday saw no improvement in the relationship between Jimmy and Dean. Jimmy carried around a fat lip from the punch he had received yesterday from Dean, and now he refused to even look at him. Dean hated it, they never fought, ever. But even though the whole not talking to your best friend is new to him, Dean was sure of one thing, he was not apologising first. Not after Jimmy's behaviour towards Cas, he accused the poor boy of killing his parents. Lunch time was no exception Jimmy spent it with Anna and Dean snuck away and spent his time with Cas.

Whilst during Dean's lunch, the first thing he did was apologise to Cas about him having to wake up alone, Cas was touched that Dean felt bad about it. They sat next to each other on the sofa, they weren't exactly on seperate ends of it but Dean longed that they were closer, Dean slowly moved closer and closer but their legs brushed against each other as they sat. They were both nervous and double thought everything. Last night they had kissed, last night Dean had fallen to sleep in his arms and now, he was too scared to even touch him.

"Cas?"

"yeah?"

"About those images you saw the faces and places you mentioned." Cas tensed a little he was scared to think of what happened and what he saw, for fear that it happened again. Dean saw he felt the muscles in Cas' legs tense which sent spark through Dean's. He took hold of Cas' hand with both of his and stroked it with his thumbs he felt the boy start to relax under Dean's gentle hold. "I was just thinking maybe you could draw them or write it down, if we're to figure it out, it has to be straight in your mind before we can do anything."

"I don't think that wise Dean, I do not wish to delve too deep into what I saw, I don't want to run the risk of letting the light out."

"It could help."

"I'll try when I'm alone, then at least if anything does happen. It is only I that can get hurt."

"No, no Cas I don't want you to do this on your own." Cas smiled weakly and rested his head on the back of the sofa and gazed at Dean,

"I refuse to put you in dangers way." It was near a whisper but it bellowed in Dean's ears, he got a little choked up at the thought of Cas wanting to protect him.

"And I refuse to let you do it alone." Dean responded in much the same kind of whisper, he rested his head on the back of the sofa, like Cas. Both content to sit and gaze at each other.

"Are you not scared of me?" Cas eventually asked.

"Why would I be scared?"

"You seemed it yesterday."

"I was, but then. I'm sorry Cas it was me that caused you to fall and hit your head, I thought I really hurt you." Cas could hear the emotion building up in Dean's voice.

"Hey, It's okay. No harm done. You weren't to know what would happen."

"That's not the point, it still did it. I was scared of you of what happened, but when I saw you laying their, you were so helpless I just wanted to help you."

"You have, so much."

"I know now that I could never be scarred of you. You're the one person I feel safe with. Don't tell any I said that."

"Not a word." Dean leant forward and place a gently kiss on Cas' dry lips, it was electric and gave both boys butterflies even though only the skin of their lips only briefly touched. "can I see you tonight?"

"Me and Jimmy still aren't talking, probably not the best idea right now."

"He still hasn't spoke to me either."

"What a prick."

"Dean please, he's still my brother and your friend."

"He's still a prick." Dean said as he removed one of his hands from Cas' and stroked his cheek, Cas closing his eyes to try to feel it more.

"Dean what's happening here?" there was silence for a long time, Dean tried to find the words. "Dean?"

"If you want the truth, I don't know Cas. I have never felt this way before. but I'm not gay, I don't think. Because with you I, when I'm around you its, I don't know Cas." Cas thought about this answer for a moment.

"I feel the same."

"Good, so erm what did you want to do about these, feelings?" Cas smiled slightly and quickly raised his hand to Dean's hair and pulled him towards him, claiming Dean's lips for his own, Cas kissed him hard Dean instantly kiss back, slightly surprised at the force Cas used. Dean soon manoeuvred himself on top of the boy, deepening the kiss their tongues clashed, hair clothes belts everything was tugged and pulled to get them closer together, if that were possible.

Dean broke the kiss and as Cas gasped for air, Dean placed lines of butterfly kisses down Cas warm, sweet smelling neck. When Cas groaned and pulled Dean's hair loving the feel of his lips against his skin, Dean couldn't help but give Cas something to really groan about, he started to give Cas open mouthed kisses on his sensitive neck, he used his tongue and his teeth. Cas' back arched as his breathing becmae erratic and loud pushing Dean back down to kiss him harder. Dean didn't break the skin but he sure enough left his mark. "uh! Dean." Was all the convocation Cas could mutter he was in a complete stated of pleasure.

Dean would have gone on if it weren't for Cas pushing his head away and pulling I back down to attacked his lips again this time the kiss they shared was more passionate, and Dean loudly cursed when his eyes opened and he caught sight of the time. "Fuck, Cas I have to go." Dean told him as he started to get up.

"No, no, no, no." Cas told him, wrapped his legs around Dean's waist and pulled him back down, he lift his hips to brush their erections together.

"Uh, Cas don't do this to me,"

"Then stay." Cas told him as he sank his teeth into Dean's collarbone, making his arms weak making him collapsed onto Cas. "Go on you should go." Dean laughed a little at the teasing bastard, just when he had been talked into staying.

"You my man, are an evil teasing bastard." All Cas could do was laugh as he watch Dean rearranged his jeans slightly,

"Am I? Your man?"

"Definitely" Dean told him with a cheeky smile, it killed both of them to say good bye after one last crush of lips Dean quickly disappeared out the door before he lost his will, praying his unattended erection went down before lessons began.

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Jimmy and Anna spent lunch time talking and joking about their wacky art teacher, when that convocation had ended and their laughs had faded, Anna sat on the field in Jimmy's arms leaning against his thundering chest.

"Are you alright Jimmy?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Dean."

"Oh."

"You two shouldn't fight, you're so close."

"I know me and Castiel fell out, and every thing exacerbated from that."

"What were you and Castiel fighting over?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. Sorry."

"That's alright. Anyway two brothers fighting is not exactly out of the ordinary."

"I was a little harsh Anna, some of the things I said. I hate myself for it, don't want to know what Castiel thinks of me, I guess Dean had a point to what he said. But he hadn't the right."

"He's your friend course he does. Maybe you should apologise."

"No."

"Don't be so stubborn Jimmy, you just said you regret saying what ever you said to Castiel, and you should tell him that. Get things back on track."

"Yeah I guess, but I'm not apologising to Dean, that's up to him."

"Okay fair enough," the bell to signify the end of lunch went and the two got up, they were facing each other and Jimmy knew what he desperately wanted, he wanted to kiss her but he didn't want to over step the mark. Anna knew he wouldn't so she, gently put a hand on the nape of his neck and brought him into a slow kiss. He kissed back not really believing it was happening. Both Jimmy and Dean had the same class after lunch and both had some news about the previous hour, but once again they had to remind themselves they were not talking to the other, so instead successfully spent the rest of the day ignoring each other.

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That night Jimmy swallowed his pride and knocked on Cas' door and opened it slightly, peering around into his room.

"Hi Castiel, can I come in?"

"Are you going to shout at me again?"

"No."

"Than yes." Jimmy took a few steps inside not many though he didn't want to push his luck.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I was angry and confused. Don't get me wrong I still have questions, and I know you want answers too, I want to help. Because you, are my brother. I'm sorry for saying you're not, I didn't mean it." Cas got up and walked up to him.

"Yes you did. I know you don't trust me and I know you think I'm a freak, you think I'm crazy and you don't believe I'm your brother. But I also know you're trying to change and I can see your regret, so thank you for your words." He extended his had to Jimmy, who took it despite the apology to be a disaster they shook hands and exchanged smiles before Jimmy left Cas alone in his room. A few moments later Jimmy peered around the door again. "Do you fancy some poker?"

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**please review, go on the button right there lol :P X**


	15. Chapter 15

**The usual warnings of spelling and grammar mistakes, if there are any please forgive me :P x**

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School on Friday was never good but when you're not talking to your best friend it makes it so much worse. At least there was one improvement after lunch Dean caught his eye and he smiled slightly at Jimmy, since he made up with Cas, Dean seemed to calm down a little, which told Jimmy that Dean was going around for lunch time visits with his twin. After the last class of the day, Jimmy started to walk out of school, passing Dean. Dean had not noticed him he was peering into his locker. Jimmy was planning on just walking past if it wasn't for a red well hidden mark on his neck. It was a love bite, and three guessing to where he got it. He couldn't let it fly. Jimmy walked up the Dean, pushing him slightly to get his attention.

"Hey."

"Jimmy." Jimmy didn't say anything, but stared at the mark, after a few seconds Dean clicked. "Oh." Dean blushed and pulled his collar over it. Jimmy still didn't say anything. "what do you want me to say?"

"He's my brother."

"Okay, Jimmy number one; the last time you spoke to me not only did you swear that he wasn't your brother, you told me he wasn't human and he killed your parents. And number two; you have no right to be protective over him, over what you did so soon after what happened, I mean Christ we only got back from hospital an hour. Oh and he did this to me, he knew what he was doing," Jimmy listened to what Dean was increasingly less patience and more anger, Dean then closed his locker and turned to Jimmy with a wink he continued, "And he enjoyed it." Jimmy never hit any one before, not properly, and yes Dean had a point but Cas was still his brother of course he was protective, so when Dean came out with that last cocky line, Jimmy did for the first time hit him, punch is more like it, straight in the left eye knocking Dean to the ground and coursing nearly everything in the corridor to stop and watch. Dean was helped up by, Michael. He held a slightly disorientated Dean by the collar and smirked evilly, he looked from Dean to Jimmy and back again.

"What's this? A lovers tiff" Michael's gaze was then drawn to Dean's hickey "Oh tut tut tut, has Dean been cheating lovey." Michael took hold of Jimmy neck and began to squeeze, knowing Jimmy would not fight back and thought Dean was unable to "You fags make me sick." Dean now back to normal, apart from the head ache, was fed up with this dick. So Dean used all his strength to head but the twat, Michael let go of Dean and Jimmy in favour of holding his bleeding nose, there was a slight excited murmur from the on watching class mates. "Don't you dare touch him."

"I knew it, you are screwing."

"Just because you screw all of your friends doesn't mean I fuck my closest friend." Dean told him as he took a swing and winded him. Michael staggered to his feet, he wouldn't give up.

"It had to be Jimmy because no girl would took you with a shitty stick Winchester." Jimmy stood by Dean side, he touched Dean's arm to get him attention

"Just leave it Dean."

"Sorry dude can't do it." Dean told him with a shrug. Jimmy rolled his eyes as Dean marched up to Michael, typical Dean. "For your information! you're right, a girl didn't give me this." Everyone including Jimmy gasped and was in shook.

"So you are gay?" michael asked astonished

"Yeah. But not with Jimmy, with Castiel, you know the guy that could bet the shit out of you without breaking a sweat." Michael was speechless yeah he'd been teasing them but he didn't really believe it. Then Michael snorted and decided to remind Dean.

"His identical twin, so how have I been wrong all these years."

"Because Jimmy is seeing your Anna." Dean told the very pissed of boy with a wink. There were a few aw's and oh's from on-lookers.

"fag." Dean went to punch Michael again, the boy coward away and deans fist stopped cm's before his face.

"Well that may be so, but now we all know who the pussy is." The crowd laughed and Dean turned to leave. Dean and Jimmy walked out of school neither of them could hold a laugh. They stopped at the impala, and it was only when they did, did they speak.

"You do realise what you just did right?"

"It's erm starting to sink in yeah." They laughed again, adrenaline running through both of them. "Oh fuck what did I just do?"

"You made Michael look like a twat."

"I just came out."

"I thought you did already." Dean shook his head. "Oh shit Dean, your parents might have been a good place to start, not the school bully."

"Shit."

"Hey, It'll be alright, just tell them when you get home."

"I've never said it out loud before."

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, fancy a lift?"

"sure."

"Just don't hit me again." they both laughed slight and Sam soon joined them, face flushed like he'd just been running.

"Dean are you gay?" he asked half jokingly half deadly serious.

"Get in Sammy." He told his brother through a laugh. This was going to be one hell of a convocation when he gets home.

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**Sorry it's short please review anyway lol :D xXx**


	16. Chapter 16

**enjoy the chapter the next one is already written and the one other is veing written now so it will be update very soon :D**

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Dean dropped Jimmy off and as he did he caught sight of Cas at the window, he gazed for a bit and gave the boy a slowly wave, Cas touched the glass with his left hand he desperately wanted to be able to touch him, this time when Jimmy saw he banged the top of the impala making Dean jump out of his skin.

"Fuck, Jimmy."

"Hey Romeo,"

"Don't hit my car." Jimmy merely rolled his eyes and continued.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright."

"Good luck for tonight."

"Thanks." Then with one more glance to Cas Dean drove off. Leaving a confused Sam in the back seat.

"Are you though?" Dean laughed the question off but knew it had to be answered, soon. "Because, Rob told me you beat Michael up and shouted it at the whole school, pretty epic if you ask me" Dean smiled slightly as he drove. When Dean pulled into the drive he turned to Sam.

"Not a word to Mum and Dad about this, you'll only worry them."

"So are you?"

"If you mention it, I tell them all about magazines under your bed" Sam went red and got out the car and ran in side. When Dean got in he went straight to his room, instantly loosing his nerve. Sam already basically knows, everyone at school knows, it has to be done, tonight. Dean decided that it would be best to do it over dinner, that way everyone is together.

A few hours later the Winchesters were gathered around the table tucking into their food, once the convocation of John's day at work had stopped Dean knew it was now or never.

"Erm." Dean stated getting their attention. "I've got something to tell you." Dean was physically shaking he had to put his knife and fork down so he didn't drop them. "It might come as a bit of a shock." He caught Sam's eye who smiled and nodded he knew what was coming.

"What is it dear?" Mary asked.

"Did you knock some girl up?" John asked.

"No, the opposite actually. I'm, I'm," Dean looked around the table taking a mental note of how his mum and dad looked before he told them, he was sure he wasn't going to see there non judgmental faces again, Dean closed his eyes, dry swallowed and blurted it out. "I'm gay." The table went deadly silent, after a few moments John started to laugh.

"Yeah right. My son, gay." He honestly thought Dean was mucking around, then Dean pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal the red mark and John's laugh instantly stopped and face fell and his eyes widened. A tear fell down Dean's cheek as he saw the anger in his Dads face, and he honestly expected a hit, instead John got up and stormed out of the house.

"Dad!" Dean called after him with no success not that he expected any.

He then looked to Sam, he had started eating again and when he looked to his older brother he merely shrugged at him and went back to his chicken, he didn't see what the big deal was. Dean's watery eyes turned to his mum; she had tears of her own and couldn't hold his gaze. "Mum?" she got up and started to leave the room, "I love you." she nodded before leaving the dinning room and going to the garden for air. Mary didn't seem as mad as John, it was wrose, she seemed sad. Dean put his head in his hands feeling deflated, stupid and wished he hadn't opened his big mouth.

Dean soon took himself to his room, where he planned to eat ice cream, cry and watch a really bad movie, just a he opened the pot of Ben and Jerry's he seriously had the ironic thought 'oh god, I'm so gay.' He had to laugh at this if a little sadly and took a big spoonful of ice cream. A few hours later, Mary came in his room, Dean was laying on top of the covers facing his TV, fast asleep as music and the credits rolled. He still had a spoon in his hand with the empty ice cream pot on the floor. The boy was also surrounded by tissues, they weren't used in the way most teenage boys use them, they were all tear soaked. Mary turned the TV off and sat on the bed. She gently shook Dean.

"Dean? Dean, wake up." He did so and when he saw his mum in his room he wished he had stayed asleep, he flopped his head back down for a few moments before sitting up. His mother went on. "Dean, I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, it was a very brave thing for you to do." Dean nodded but didn't look at her, he couldn't handle it if he saw another look of anger, hatred, sadness and disappointment. "Dean look at me." Dean closed his eyes and shook his head as tears fell down his cheeks. Mary wiped his tears away, cupped his cheeks and brought his head up revealing Dean's red eyes. "Oh my boy." Mary sighed her heart broke seeing Dean in pain she put her arms around him and held her son tight. "It's okay Dean, I love you."

"No you don't." Dean wheezed out, Mary's heart dropped upon hearing this she looked at her son. "How could you say that Dean, I'm your mother I could never stop loving you."

"You didn't see your face when I told you, mum you looked heart broken and dad looked so angry."

"Your father is shocked."

"He hates me."

"No. no Dean he doesn't, just give him time." Dean nodded and Mary kissed him on the forehead. "So who is it?"

"Who is what?"

"The boy that gave you that mark." There was silence for a moment, Dean debated with himself, should he tell the truth or lye? Truth lye, truth lye, truth lye.

"Castiel." He muttered he's gone this far where's the point in lying now.

"Castiel? Castiel Novak?" Dean nodded "Well you didn't waste much time, he hasn't been back for long barely a week."

"I know it's terrible."

"No it's not Dean." Almost afraid to ask Mary slowly and cautiously did, "Is Castiel the first boy you've, had feelings for?" after a few moments thought, much to Mary and Dean's surprise he shook his head.

"Looking back there were a few thoughts and feelings throughout my life I guess, but with Cas its different. He's the first boy I've kissed. Oh god. I shouldn't feel this way mum, I know I shouldn't but I do and I can't fight it, I don't think I want too."

"And you shan't, don't be afraid of who you are Dean." After a smile to each other Mary kissed her son again and left them to it.

Mary went down stairs, her eyes drawn to the photos of her boy's child hood, she stopped at one picture, Dean always did have the cheekiest grin. He could get away with murder at this age, at any age really. The picture she was looking at was of the day Sam was one Dean was five it was SAm's party and they were both dressed up in their little outfits she'd picked for them. This was the day Dean met the Novak twins, this was the day Mary saw her son was fated to be gay. Questions like what if they hadn't attended the party? Or what if Castiel wasn't sent away? What if they didn't get along in the first place? would Dean still be gay? Or would he still be unaware of it now, would be never have found out until he was married with kids, or was it Castiel that brought it out in her son? What about kids? will Dean ever have children? Ever be married? He couldn't have a proper family now. She felt bad for thinking it but she did, she didn't love him any less but maybe pitied him a little more. A tear fell down her cheek and she decided it was wrong to think such things, after wiping the tear away she left the stairs and the photo and decided to leave those thoughts there too. She soon found John, who had re-entered the house and was sitting in his chair with a beer in his hand staring at the ceiling.

"I just went to see Dean."

"Don't care." He said emotionless as he took a long swung of his beer.

"He thinks you hate him."

"I do."

"No you don't, he's your son, you love him."

"He makes my skin crawl." Mary slapped her husband around the face.

"John Winchester! How dare you say such a horrible thing about your own son!"

"I'm sorry Mary but I don't like it and I am not going to pretend I do. I can't look at him without wanting to hit the bastard."

"I can't talk to you when you're like this. We'll discuss this in the morning when you're calm." Mary stormed out the living room and sat on one of the dinning room chairs, she felt exhausted. Sam appeared and came into the room, he hugged his mother and Mary could contain all the emotions she cried into her youngest son's arms.

"It's okay mum, dad didn't mean it. We'll all be alright you'll see. We'll be a happy family. Promise."

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**Please review :) xXx**


	17. Chapter 17

Jimmy came into the living room and was greeted by Castiel.

"Hey, saw Dean's neck, your handy work I believe." Cas went a little red and looked away and a familiar mark caught Jimmy's eye. He chuckled as he walked up to Cas and pulled down the collar of his t-shirt. "I think you are worse off though." He commented as he saw the bigger and deeper red marks Dean gave Cas in a number of places. Cas smiled slightly embarrassed and Jimmy laughed. "Don't worry Castiel, It's cool, I was a little apprehensive at first but hey, who am I to stand in the way of happiness. You are happy aren't you Castiel?"

"Oh yes, very much so." Jimmy smiled and looked down at the coffee table and saw a very well drawn hp stretch of a man.

"What's with this?"

"Dean thought it might prove to be beneficial if I drew some of those faces and places I saw."

"Gotta hand it to him, for being an idiot he does have some pretty good ideas on occasion. Has it helped?"

"Not yet, I draw this man but I don't remember his name or anything about him, and it gave he a head ache." Jimmy looked at the picture of a middle aged man, sandy shaggy hair and an almost evilly funny grin. It was good, really good.

"You have a talent Castiel." Cas smiled at his brother in thanks. "Sarah gone?" Cas nodded,

"Yes but I do not understand why. She said you'll explain."

"I asked her to stay with friends tonight so you could meet Anna."

"Who's Anna?"

"She's my, friend. A good friend and she wants to meet you."

"Why?" Jimmy laughed at his brother's cluelessness, what a social retard; he can't be blamed for that though.

"Because, it's just the normal thing to do." Cas nodded he seemed happy enough with this answer.

"When does she arrive?"

"Erm, half an hour." Jimmy informed himself as well as Cas after checking the time.

"I shall see you in half an hour then, I suddenly remembered one of the women's faces."

"Okay I'll give you a shout when she's here." Cas nodded and went into his room.

Cas sat on the floor of his room, closed his eyes thought of her and drew, eyes still shut focusing on her face. Her red hair and deep dark eyes.

By the time Cas was called the drawing was done, he went to meet the Anna girl. For Jimmy, Castiel decided to be as 'normal' as he could. That failed completely because as soon as he saw her he strolled up to her, pulled her close looked in her eyes inspected her being. After a few moments of Cas acting like what could only be described as an animal prowling around his prey, Jimmy had enough and he pushed the boy away.

"Castiel stop it, what the fuck do you think your doing?" Cas was panted and when he caught his breath he stared at Anna as he answered his brother.

"I'm sorry Jimmy, it's this girl…"

"Anna." Jimmy interjected.

"It's Anna, there's something about her."

"Castiel you're freaking my guest out and she's only been here a few minutes." Cas turned and walked into his room. Jimmy was bright red and Anna speechless.

"I am so sorry Anna."

"No its fine, its understandable he's weary of new people." Jimmy took Anna to the sofa were the sat. Cas came back and handed Jimmy his drawing, Jimmy's mouth hit the floor.

"Wow."

"It's Anna."

"That's, that's impossible."

"Look at the drawing." Anna peered at the piece of paper.

"That's really good Castiel." Cas ignored her.

"This women is part of my past." Cas gestured to the drawing then to Anna and continued. "She is part of my past."

"Castiel. Yes it does look like her but this is obviously a drawing of a much older women, plus you saw Anna a few days ago at the park remember. Maybe those faces are just recent faces." What Jimmy was saying was true, and his logical was sound. He sat in the arm chair feeling foolish.

"Sorry Anna."

"That's quite alright Castiel, it's a mistake anyone could make."

"Tea? Coffee?"

"Coffee please." Anna answered and when Jimmy looked to Cas he shook his head as an answer, so Jimmy got up to make Anna a drink. As soon as he left, Anna shuffled along the sofa to she was closer to Cas.

"So, Cas I hear you remembering things."

"I think so yes."

"What sort of things, what do you remember most."

"The sky."

"The sky, like flying. Do you like to fly Cas? Do you ever wish you could?" Cas was uneasy about these questions, they seemed way to direct for his liking. Cas never mentioned anything about flight, but yes, it was one of the strongest things he remembered "what do you think it would feel like to fly, feel the air wash over you, the wind soaring past jetting over your wings." Cas tensed even more.

"I don't have any wings."

"Do you want wings?" Jimmy came back to the sofa and gave Anna her drink. "Thank you."

"So what you chatting about?" Jimmy casually asked.

"Oh nothing Castiel was just telling me about the images he saw, he says he remembers the sky."

"He told you about the images?" Cas' eyes widened if Jimmy was asking this that meant he hadn't told her like he figured. How did Anna know all this?

"Yeah." Anna nodded.

"Huh." Jimmy was a little surprised. "I'm glad your being more open." He told his brother.

"Castiel also told me about a women on the ceiling, do you think…" Cas' eyes widened more and was about to say something but the door bell went.

"I'll get it" Jimmy then left the two alone again.

"How do you know all this?" Cas demanded

"Why Cas my dear you told me."

"I never did."

"Oh well lets just say you did. Any way this women on the ceiling, do you think it strange how that was the most predominant image, perhaps like it was important, really important to you, to everything."

"Anna I don't know how you know all this but what you're saying I scaring me."

"Good. Cas you have to remember." After grabbing a pencil and the drawing from the coffee table in front of her, Anna scribbled something down and got up. Just as Jimmy closed the door and turned around Anna placed a kiss of Jimmy's lips.

"I'm sorry but I have to go. I forgot I promised my mum I'll be back for dinner with the grand parents."

"Oh okay." Jimmy bidden Anna good bye and joined Cas back in the living room who had hold of the paper Anna wrote on.

"Everything okay?"

"I didn't tell her anything about the images. Especially about that women on the ceiling. Did you?"

"What? No, I. Anna is nothing to do with this." Jimmy didn't understand what was happening. Cas laid the drawing down and showed Jimmy was on it.

"She's involved Jimmy, she has to be." Under the drawing of the shaggy haired man was Anna's writing it said 'Your brother, Gabriel. _Remember_ us.'

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When Anna reached the street he turned and got into her car, the radio screeched change volume as the wip screen wipers went off on their own accord, then the street light next to the car went out. as nna started to tospeak."No," Anna began what looked like talking to her self. "No he doesn't remember not fully anyway, Yes of course I tried pushing him but that idiot human was there and kept getting in the way. But Castiel knew me, and he remembers Gabriel. More importantly he saw Mary, he's reaching through the plains. It's clear it has started to come back to him. He's ready, at the moment he's still a quivering idiot, a social retard of a human with no clue what's inside him, he's a confused teenage boy ready to believe just about anything. It's time, It's safe. Tonight. Well soon then. If I have to kiss that little boy again I might just have to drop him into a black hole. 'Till tomorrow then. Good bye my brother." Then the radio went silent and Anna drove into the dark and back to her home.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Cas is faced with the ugly truths of his past as he finds out exactly who he is :D xx**

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Dean woke up feeling sick, he was tossing and turning all night and got barely three hours, it was Saturday so unfortunately it meant John was home, Mary said he needed time and Dean was in no hurry to speed their reunion up. So after shoving some clothes on, he grabbed his keys and ran as fast as he could to the front door. It was only when he was in the impala and driving down a road three blocks from his house did he finally breathe and relax, he sank into his seat a little and stopped gripping the wheel so tight, his knuckles were white. It was seven, too early to bother Cas, and Jimmy. Dean felt so bad that his best friend was his second thought, but this was Cas. As Dean's stomach rumbled violently he turned into a car park and entered a dinner for an incredibly unhealthy and delicious breakfast. After Dean ate he had a cup of coffee and another and another and simply watched the time pass on the wall clock he faced. Finally after a few hours the waitress went up to Dean.

"You know honey, what ever your avoiding isn't just going to go away." Dean knew he was avoiding his dad but decided to think about what he was waiting for.

"I'm not, I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"An angel."

"Good luck with that one." She joked, and after getting up and putting money on the table he smiled at her,

"Don't worry, I've already found him." Then he left leaving a slightly stunned waitress starring at him as he left, Dean grinned all the way back to the car, he just told a complete stranger he was gay. He wasn't embarrassed or anything, it was just a matter of fact thing, he was proud of it and proud of himself. Then the thought of John entered his mind and his stomach churned, he wished he could be that confident with him. After checking the time, he drive to the Novak's deciding that ten o'clock was a good a time as any to drop in.

* * *

Before Dean could even ring the bell, Cas was at the door and greeting him, Dean thought it a little freaky but he wasn't going to say anything, he loved the kind of greeting that included pinning your boyfriend against the wall. After half an hour they came into the living room, Jimmy was watching TV when he heard them and spoke to them casually not taking his eyes of his programme.

"You two have finished for now then?" both boys went slightly red as they sat down. Jimmy turned to Dean now serious. "Did you do it?" Dean nodded "How'd it go?" Cas was sitting next to Dean, he was confused and didn't know the topic of convocation.

"What did you do Dean?"

"Told my parents I'm gay. That I'm with you." Cas was speechless the thought of Dean doing that, never even crossed his mind as a possibility.

"How did they take it?" Jimmy asked.

"Not good, my mum cried a lot, but then seemed to be okay with it but I'm pretty sure it was a front. And my dad hates me."

"Come on he doesn't hate you."

"You didn't see his face." Dean was clearly upset as tears started to sting his eyes. His discomfort was so obvious even Cas saw it and he reached out and held his hand. Breaking Dean's trail of thought that was on John's look of pure disappointment.

"Dean what you did was brave and I thank you." Dean nodded to him and decided to brighten the subject, he came here to be cheered up not to bring everyone down.

"So how was your evening?" The boy's moods and gaze suddenly came right down "what? Couldn't have been that bad. Could it?" Jimmy and Cas told Dean all about the drawing, Anna, what she said how she said it and most importantly what she had wrote.

"Remember us?" Dean repeated the last line. "What a freak."

"Dean please." Jimmy new he was right but it was still Anna and he still liked her. "Sorry Jimmy, I know you're sweet on her." He nodded in thanks. They sat in silence for a moment, before Dean got up to get a drink, as he turned his eyes widened and throat dried.

"Erm, guys." They casually glanced over and instantly jumped to their feet.

* * *

"You." Cas bellowed and stepped forward in front of Dean in a protective nature. Dean lent forward,

"Cas, who is this guy?" Jimmy moved to stand next to Dean and handed him the drawing, it was a remarkable resemblance, the man in the drawing was older but it was him.

"Gabriel?" Dean asked for to himself than anything.

"Go it in one Deanio." The man in front of them said with a smirk. All three boys looked up, he was smiling. The man's gaze was steadied and focused entirely on Cas.

"Oh come on now Cas, got no love for your long lost brother?"

"You're not my brother." Cas growled at the intruder that seemed painfully familiar.

"You really don't remember huh?"

"Remember what?"

"What you are."

"I'm Castiel Novak."

"No, you're a soldier of god." Cas was taken back slightly by the strange term of phrase.

"You're crazy."

"You came to earth nine years ago. Because your vessel was so young you lost control slightly you had to reserve yourself because a nine year old vessel is easily destroyed, then all those years popping pills inside a padded cell, it humanised you. Do you remember who you said you were when you first went to hospital?" Cas kept quiet, thinking searching for memories, Dean held him shoulder.

"You're not really going to listen to this wacko are you Cas? We should call the police."

"Oh that really won't do much good I'm afraid Dean. I'll just fly away." Gabriel went from being in front of them to being by the front door in the than a blink of an eye "see." Cas was silent and couldn't help but be impressed.

"What the hell?" Jimmy exclaimed not believing his eyes.

"Guess again." The intruder seemed amused at his words, like a private joke only he got, as if he knew something the others didn't.

"How do you know my name?" Dean interjected.

"I know much more than that." Dean opened his mouth to shout back but Cas opened his and spoke the words he said that night, focusing on the floor eyes glazed as if he were looking to the past.

"I have to go home, heaven needs me, I have a mission, you have to release me so I can continue. It didn't happen, it's written and it has to come to pass."

"And your objective?"

"Mary must die or the world will."

"Exactly."

"Mary?" Dean suddenly scarred as he repeated the name used, his mother's name. can't be the same Mary surely, that's just crazy.

"Cas what does that mean?" Jimmy carefully asked worried for his brothers sanity and not wanting to play too much into this delusion.

"It means, I really am crazy, Jimmy I'm scarred."

"I'm here, we both are." He reassured his brother as he gestured to Dean, who squeezed Cas' shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Not now, grown ups talking." Gabriel informed them as he shook this head and touched Jimmy and Dean on the forehead coursing them to collapse instantly.

"What have you done? Dean! Jimmy!"

"Relax they're just sleeping, if I wanted to kill them they would be dead already. You're not crazy, but you do still have a mission to complete. Your past was drummed out of you, so you believe this rosy tinted view of the world. I'm here to give you answers, the truth. I'm here to give you your life back."

"What am I?"

"An angel."

"Don't. Mock. Me." Cas' voice rumbled suddenly pissed of this man thinks he can be taken for a fool.

"I'm not." With a subtle turn of Gabriel's right hand that was down by his side. The lamps started to flicker, causing shadows to fall across the room, across Gabriel and onto a huge pair of dark wings. Cas stepped back slightly, intimidated by the sudden majesty of the creature before him nearly causing Cas to trip over Deans sleeping body that sparred across the floor next to Jimmy's "Don't pretend you haven't noticed yours. Pulling down at your back, takes a lot to shield them doesn't it? But you do it without even thinking how. Don't you think that strange?" Cas looked over his shoulder to where his were, he could still feel them, it couldn't be true, Cas eyes snapped back to the man in front of him.

"There's no such thing as angels." Cas coldly told Gabriel. It's what he heard for nine years from various nurses, doctors and quacks, and he started to believed them, until now. His voice came out shaky and unsure, after all seeing's believing.

"Ouch Cassie that hurt. Listen, you were sent to earth to rewrite everything."

"I don't understand." Gabriel sighed and touched Cas' forehead, instead of finding darkness as he sleep hit him like he expected, light rushed over him, he felt his body falling as his blood gushed and squeezed his organs, air was lost and his lungs were incapable of getting it back. His mind buzzing and eyes rolled back in his head. Out of the empty light that surrounded him was a sudden burst of colour, full of images, places, faces, convocations, times long past, and lives long gone, they flew around his head echoed in his ears as he started to retained more and more. He saw everything. The way Mr and Mrs Novak died, him asking little Eric for permission to enter him on the grounds that he would be a superhero and save the world, he saw his brothers and sisters, he saw cities grow, river dry out, societies fade. Everything he saw the world and everything in her change and evolve backwards throughout time, he saw what he saw before. Cas' arms were outstretched all the information hurt so much he lost control as he screamed his wings suddenly entered earths plain. They were large and pure white, with if a little under kept, after all they hadn't had exercise for nine years. But they were as Gabriel remembered them to be, angelic. When Cas had seen enough Gabriel removed his hand and Cas fell to his knees wings falling either side of him.

"Do you understand now?" Gabriel asked, Cas couldn't answer he was gasping for breath when he did try instead of speaking he threw up.

"Oh god, oh my god. No, no, no, no, no." Cas mumbled repeatitivley again and aain, as he rocked himself back and forth, he clutch his aching chest and stared disbelievingly at his wings. Gabriel stood and watched, it threw him how much it hurt I'm to see his brother cry, he didn't realise how much he missed Cas, for angels nine years is hours, like a day off a morning off even, if that. So it effected Gabriel when he realised just how much he missed him. For Cas nine years was half is life, half his life as someone else, half his life a lye. He was crying he shouldn't be crying he was an angel angels don't cry, they can't, they don't. Cas' head spun and his mind buzzed. He wished he never knew the truth he wished he left it well alone. Gabriel knelt by his brother and put a hand on his shoulder, the contact seemed to drag the boy back into reality.

"I'm sorry it's affected you so."

"No you're not, you don't feel anything."

"That's not true Cas, I feel love, for you brother."

"Then why did you tell me. I may have been an angel once, but I'm more human now than anything, now I have to deal with the fact I'm a killer."

"No your not."

"I've smited, killed and slaughtered villages and towns thousands at once without so much as blinking!"

"You were doing gods work."

"Killing in the name of god is still killing! I don't want to be a soldier."

"Want it or not you are Castiel, you were created to serve god, to do his bidding. Now he needs you to complete what you sent here to do." tears soaked Cas' checks as he shook his head.

"No! I will not do that to him, I can't, not to him."

"You have no choice." Gabrel whispered he didnt want cas to hurt.

"You say you feel love for me? Well I feel it for him. I refuse to destroy his life. After everything I have seen all the horrors everything I have done, all the wars and death. I deserve happiness, I deserve a human life. With him." Cas was angry he hated this man but mostly he hated himself, Cas got to his knees but still felt too dizzy to stand.

"I'm sorry to say that certain regrettable things are now required from you, but they are required none the less."

"Why!"

"Because if you don't destroy his life, you will destroy the world."

"Then you do it!"

"Only you can. Remember we're angels. Due to the path the decision lead to, to turn back and put everything right we need permission. You're the only one with a hope of getting it."

"Is that why you sent me here and made me forget! Because you knew this would happen, you knew how we would feel, how he would feel? It's all planned isn't it! It all a set up!"

"No Cas, no it's not."

"Are my feelings even mine?"

"Of course, we couldn't touch you, you were human basically still are. You had to start to remember on your own when you were ready if we told you this before, the information would have killed you, the impact would have also have killed most the people in this town. So we couldn't interfere with your life your choices or your feelings. We just had to wait."

"Fuck you Gabriel, I don't know you. Jimmy's been my brother for nine years not you."

"It may take a little longer for all the memories to come back. When they do you will remember that yes Jimmy has been your brother for nine years, but out of those years he's none you about a week. Were as I and the rest of the garrison have been your family for a millennia." Gabriel didn't sound mad or forceful he sounded desperaste as a tear filled one of his eyes and slid gracefully down his right cheek, he really wanted Cas to remember, not just for the mission but so he can have him back. Cas saw a great amount love in his calm warm eyes that betrayed his, rough and professional exterior and attitude he was putting on so well. It touched and warmed Cas' heart to know that he was so loved.

He stood up and thought about what was being said, it was true that more and more new memories were filling his mind by the second. He looked at his wings, they were beautiful no question about that, and they were his. It was like a blind man finding he had sight or a deaf child hearing their mother's voice for the first time, Cas felt over whelmed. It was too unreal to comprehend and to surreal to be a lye. Gabriel knew there was nothing more he could do but comfort his brother. After an hour of soothing Cas' tears and calming his out burts, he looked at his brother ready to bid him goodbye.

"I pray you make the right decision. I do not pretend it is easy, but there is a right and wrong. Think about what I have said and remember what you know." With a rustle of wings Gabriel was gone.

* * *

A second late he appeared again with the same sound announcing his arrival. "You want to go for a fly? You wings look out of practise."

Cas looked at the cocky face before him, it was like a whole different person, like he was off the clock so could be fun and normal, but angel aren't fun or normal and are never of the clock, Gabriel seemed different, Cas thought he remembered his brother Gabriel he always did seem more human than the rest. He may not trust him yet but he was his brother and he did want to test his wings out.

Cas smiled and Gabriel took his hand and they disappeared from the room. Before Cas knew it he was high in the sky above the clouds there was only white bellow them. Gabriel had Cas' hand as he dangled 8000 feet in the sky. Cas started to panic realising he didn't know how to fly.

"What do I do?"

"What do you think?" Gabriel spoke with a laugh as he realised the boy, who started to fall instantly, Gabriel rolled his eyes and shouted after him. "flap!" Cas was spinning in circled the wind tossing him slightly as his wings went everywhere as Cas fought to controll them but couldn't seem to, so he free fell 2000 feet before once again he found him self being held by Gabriel and soaring into the sky again.

"Come on Cas, It's just like you humans say, It's like riding a bike."

"I never learnt how to ride a bike!" the boy shouted back panicked and flustered.

"The point is you're an angel, it's intuitive. Just clear your mind and let instinct take over. Cas flying is as easy as walking …once you get used to it." And with that Gabriel once again let go.

This time Cas held his arms to his chest, closed his eyes and breathed slowly. He was completely calm and soon found the hammering air that pulled and distorted his face became lighter and more breezy, when he opened his eyes again he was soaring, wings fully extended and beautifully counteracting the airs movement to keep perfect and graceful balance. Everything seemed right and Cas felt at peace. for a moment all his worries and challenges vanished he knew they were still there but right now there was no way he could to anything but feel the air and see the views that were breath taking.

Gabriel was cheering as Cas flew back up to hover next to his brother. "You're used to it?" Gabriel asked and Cas nodded. "How does it feel?"

"Good, so good."

"Good, so you fancy a little competition?"

"Sure."

"The first to fly three times around the world and ends up back at yours wins."

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**Please review xxx :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Enjoy the chapter :D**

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Cas agreed and the race begun, it all went well until the about two seconds in when Cas' eyes found the finish line, eyes drawn to his home. His eyes soften and filled with tears. His vision zoomed and he found himself looking in the window at the two still sleeping boys from 7000 feet. He saw Dean and Jimmy and everything came back to him. A second later Cas found himself in his living room, realising his wings were still on view his eyes clenched as he hide them. Running over to the unconscious boys he shook them trying to wake them up. They were really under, so Cas picked Jimmy up with more ease then he expected; he was really strong. Carried Jimmy to his room and placed him on his bed and then Dean on the sofa attempting to make the boys comfortable. Cas' ears pricked up as he heard a distinctive sound he was rapidly getting used to, the flutter of wings cutting through the air.

"Hello Gabriel." He turned to see his brother standing in the middle of the room with a goofy smile on his face, panting slightly.

"You cheated, no way your faster than me, you're out of practise."

"I didn't finish."

"Then I won." Gabriel mouthed the word 'yes' to himself as he pumped his arm towards himself.

"I'm sorry Gabriel but, please leave."

"what?"

"I remember everything and I thank you for telling me, but now it's my turn to tell them, Jimmy and Dean were my family, are my family. I'm sorry but that's not going to change. They deserve to know, I will see you soon." Gabriel felt, if the truth were told, betrayed, jealous, overlooked but knew Cas had not meant this and he understood what was being said, so nodded and left.

* * *

Cas went over to the kitchen, he found it odd that he still felt thirst, he guessed it was out of habit more than anything, he wondered whether the need or the want to eat and drink will fade over time, Cas hoped not, he rather enjoyed eating he thought as he turned the tap and filled his glass.

Cas held the glass in his hand and suddenly, cracks appeared it smashed into so many pieces cutting Cas' hand and causing bloodied glass to fly around the floor, he really didn't know his own strength that seemed to stay at bay when he didn't remember, like his wings. Cas rose his had to his face and studied it, he watched the blood gush out of the open wounds, and how the glass still inside his hand glissaded as it reflected the light. He saw it, he knew it happen and he felt it, Cas felt the glass slice his skin but it didn't hurt, Cas was freaking out a little he was still getting used to everything, and now apparently he can't feel pain was one more thing to add to the growing list of superpowers.

There was a noise behind him when he turned he caught the emerald eyes of Dean, who was a little groggy but please to see him, that soft glint in his eye turned instantly to fear when he saw Cas' hand covered in so much blood.

"My god, Cas are you alright!" Dean strolled over to the boy before him.

"It's okay Dean I'm fine."

"Fine! Look at you." Dean said and he held Cas' arm and examined his bloodied hand. "I'll get some bandages."

"No there's no need." Cas took his arm from Dean's grip and turned to the tap, after washing all the blood away and removing the glass, he turned back to Dean. "see, I'm fine." Dean was amazed, Cas' hand was perfectly intact, not a mark. Dean was speechless if a little scared, after everything that has happened and now this as well. "Dean, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Dean lied but Cas didn't have the heart to call him on it, so followed him to the sofa and sat with him instead, they sat in almost comfortable silence for a few minutes, before Jimmy came into the room, rubbing his eyes.

"What the hell happened?"

"Heya Jimmy, Cas here was just about to tell us everything he knows. Weren't you." Cas got up and he looked notably nervous.

"We should sit at the table." The boys nodded and made there way to the old wooden table ready to listen to Cas' long anticipated story.

They sat at the table in silence for longer than Dean and Jimmy wanted, they were staring at Cas who was concentrated completely on his hands, fingers entwined and resting on the table.

* * *

"Cas, we're waiting." Dean told him with less love than he intended but he wasn't sorry, he needed to know. Cas nodded he understood, but will Dean understand? Cas already knows that Jimmy will hate him and probably try and kill him, good thing he won't be able too.

"I know. I'm trying to find the words. Its hard." Dean's coldness melted away as he rested a hand on Cas' shaky ones.

"It's okay, just take your time."

"Okay well what you need to know, I'm afraid you won't believe me but it's the truth." Cas took a deep breath "I'm an angel." There was a pause of silence before a little chuckle filled the slightly stuffy kitchen air, Cas' blue eyes shot up to find Dean staring at a giddy Jimmy. "You don't believe me."

"Sorry Castiel I shouldn't laugh but, it is a little funny, come on an angel!"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Cas, but I agree with Jimmy, even after everything it seems a little far fetched." Cas nodded and stood, and he removed his t shirt, Dean stared intently on the fresh flesh that was being revealed.

Dean's throat dried and eyes lit up as he watched a surprising amount of tone muscular skin being revealed, Cas opened his mouth to say something to one of them but couldn't so turned and decided just to show them. Cas out stretched his fingers and arms, and them suddenly out of nowhere they appeared. Huge feathery wings in there full glory; they extended and reached the ceiling. They were pure white and seemed magical and the white gleamed from rays from the sun. Dean instantly sat up right, eyes wide and mouth open, were Jimmy fell on his chair. Neither boy could say anything they were too shocked and simply to scared too. By the time Cas turn back around the wings had once again disappeared. There was silence again; the air was thick with the tension of unasked questions.

"I'm angel, a warrior of god, as is Gabriel. I'm sorry Jimmy but so is Anna."

"Anna? What she got to do with his?"

"Anna is my superior and has been for many, many years, she had keep an eye on me, make sure I was safe, waiting for the right time, until it was safe to be told the truth."

"So when she kissed me, that was what? A way of getting to you."

"I believe so yes." A tear filled Jimmy's eye, Dean put a hand on his friend's shoulder who smiled in thanks back. Dean took his hand back, he wanted to comfort Jimmy, but there wasn't any to give. There was nothing he could say to make it better, there was nothing that didn't sound patronising or stupid, so he kept his mouth shut and turned back to Castiel.

"Cas," Dean pathetically wheezed out before coughing trying to get his authoritative voice back. It didn't really work. "You, you can't just say something like that and not elaborate. After everything we've seen I believe you, I do. But what does it mean Cas? What does it mean being an angel? What does it mean for your life here? Can you stay? Do you have to go and do angel stuff? What does it mean for us?" Cas sifted through all those questions Dean so rapidly asked, he knew the only own Dean really cared about was the last one, but Cas didn't know, he looked up from the table were he had been staring to look Dean in the eyes, hoping Dean sure his uncertainty was genuine.

"Dean, in all honesty I don't know what this means for us. I guess that's up to you. I never thought the question would surface, me simply being an angel I was sure would be more than you could handle, I thought you would had had left me by now."

"Cas. I could never leave you." Dean reached across the table to hold Cas' hand, the contact make Cas' stomach twist and drop and leap all at the same time, he could still feel, he could still love, for now. "Being an angel is just one of those things you know. But can you be an angel and gay at the same time?"

"Of course Dean. After everything that is happened and happening in the world do you really think God cares who you fall for. Besides technically I don't have a sex."

"Huh?"

"I don't have a gender, in my true form I don't have any kind of sexual organs they're not needed. Our father creates us we don't reproduce."

"So your sex now is,"

"Is down to the vessel, Eric is mine so I am at least whilst still in him am a boy."

"Oh." Jimmy said through his teeth, "So, I was right. You killed my mum and dad." He sounded more heart broken than angry, he didn't know what to think, this wasn't an everyday situation.

"Yes. I, I am truly sorry, I told them not to look, my true form can be harmful for people to witness." Jimmy sat staring at the table concentrating at the snuff mark coursed a few years ago by Dean and a compass during a session of boring maths homework. "Jimmy, I am sorry, it was an accident it was never my intention to hurt them." Jimmy was silent for a few more moments before he couldn't any longer, he tried to hide the anger but it was so much to take in, he had so many questions, so much to say.

"Why Eric! Why a nine year old boy!" Jimmy angrily shouted as hit tears ran down his cheeks, Dean looked to Cas as well, that was a good point one he would be interested in hearing an answer to.

"Not just any human will do, each angel has certain blood lines, vessel families if you will. Eric is one of them, as are you."

"So why not one of my parents!"

"Eric allowed it; we have to have permission to inhabit a body. Your parents were unresponsive, Eric was simpler to convince."

"He was a child of course you could manipulate him! some freaking angel you are." Dean slowly removed his hands from Cas', the more he hears the more he wished he hadn't, poor Eric. Cas winced at the loss of contact and felt a lump in his throat as fear started to fill his mind, he was loosing Dean already and he doesn't know the worst of it, no where near.

"So you just possessed a little boy?" Dean asked quietly, though he didn't need an answer, Cas couldn't hold his gaze.

"Why did you come to earth in the first place?" Jimmy snapped at him.

"Erm, well. To rewrite a wrong, to stop a decision being made that would endanger and doom the world to destruction." Cas wasn't lying, but he couldn't tell Dean everything, not yet he might still be a little dim with human interactive, but he did know there was a time and a place, this was neither. So instead Cas hid specific truths that would be harmful for Dean to process, but he didn't lye.

"Wow, heavy stuff. So your like a super hero huh." Dean sounded a little impressed and a little intimidated.

"Saving the world or not, your still a murderer you killed my parents you son of a bitch, not to mention Eric, what did you do with Eric!" Jimmy's anger started again rising to the point of explosion.

"He's still here." Cas told him calmly as he tapped his head with his index finger, Jimmy was shocked but continued.

"I want to talk to him."

"No."

"What! Let be speak to my brother you bastard!"

"It's not possible." Jimmy hitting the table and stood needing to move to do something with all this energy his heart was rapidly pumping into him.

"Why not!" he shouted as angry tears started to fall again.

"Because I will not have another death on my head and okay! I can't. When I came into him, he was pushed to his subconscious, he can feel what I feel, sometimes even hear and even see, but he's been pushed to the back on his own mind for so long, realising him back into his own body would kill him. I cannot allow that."

"I should kill you!" Jimmy shouted to Cas with his back to him as he kicked the sofa, Dean was worried he has never seen Jimmy like this; he was always in control even with his anger.

"You can if it will make you feel better, but you won't succeed." Jimmy was wound up even more by the coldness and matter of fact way the words were falling from Cas' mouth he grabbed the thing closet to him, which happened to be a vase, turned and hit Cas on the head with it,

"You took everything from me!" his attack barely hurt the boy, if at all, Dean sat at the table staring wide eyed at the boy in front of him, who was trying desperately to calm down, with a look of shock spread across his face, Dean didn't think Jimmy was ever capable of what he just did and Jimmy obviously thought the same.

"I'm sorry." Cas told his human brother who couldn't hold Cas' gaze instead lent against the sofa breathing deeply.

"Well sorry doesn't really cut it Castiel." Cas looked over to Jimmy, he was physical shaking as heart went out to him, and with a sharp flutter of wings sweeping through the room Cas appeared next to his human brother.

"I pray one day you'll forgive me." He told him before touching his forehead forcing sleep onto Jimmy. Jimmy was no good to anyone this angry, sleep was the best thing for him right now.

Dean knew he should change the subject, but he had to know, he just had to know more. "Have you killed many people Cas?"

"Too many." Cas spoke voice full of regret and guilt.

"But for a good reason though. Right?" Dean naively hoped and unfortunately knew the answer, before the question was even an idea in his over exhilarated, over working buzzing brain.

"I was ordered too, I didn't know the reason just that they must perish."

"Oh Cas." Dean's heart broke he put his hands back on Cas' shaky one's, he seemed to relax a little as he felt Deans skin against his, even if it was only his hand, he felt ten thousand times better knowing Dean could still touch him even though he knew Cas' murderous past, maybe there was hope.

"I'm not proud of it Dean, it chills me to the bone, I hate it. I might be an angel but I feel human, I feel Dean. Angels don't feel. If we did we couldn't call ourselves angels. I see their faces, I can see the light go out in their eyes, I can feel them fading, hearing them dying and by my hands." as he watch Cas crumble before him, he watched as Cas' guilt was tearing him to pieces, he was defiantly more human than angel, which meant he had to stay on earth with Dean, and maybe Dean could put him back together again.

"Cas it's okay." Dean made his way the floor and knelt by Cas' side and snaked his right arm around the boy's trembling body and held his sweaty hand with his left. Dean planted a soft kiss of the angel's temple and whispered softly into his ear. "You were just following orders, it's what soldiers do. You didn't know any better. You do now. That's what matter." Cas turned his head, face inches from Dean's breath skated over the others face as the breathed, Cas' watery blue eyes were fixed to Dean's green, he was looking for love and comfort and found it all in deans embarrass he so willingly gave.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Dean, I can't go home, I don't know if could exist without you." Dean brought his hand from Cas' to his cheek stoking it with his thumb.

"Than stay here with me."

"That too is impossible; I'm an angel." Cas looked away from his boyfriend unable to look him in the eye. "Certain things are required from me."

"What does that mean?" Cas' head suddenly jerked to the side as he body tightened, it was like he was listening to some silent radio "Cas?"

"Azazel." He said under his breath before leaving vanishing within a blink of an eye.

"Cas? Cas!" Dean shouted to an empty room.

* * *

Dean was confused and worried, he had to find Cas, he knew it was useless searching the flat so aced it instead, not that that helped either. When suddenly it stuck in "Anna." Dean told himself under his breath, Dean hurried to Jimmy's phone and pray the boy had been man enough to get her number, he was in luck and she soon answered, sounding a little too happy to answer the phone.

"_Hi Jimmy."_

"Cut the crap, I know who and what you are."

"_Dean."_

"yeah, and you have to listen to me,"

"_now why would I go and do and stupid thing like that?"_

"Because Cas I'm, I'm worried about him._"_

"_no need to be, he's a big boy."_

"who's Azazel?"

"_how do you know that name?"_

"it's what Cas said before he zapped himself away."

"_crap."_

"Do you know where he is, can you like locate him."

"_I'm not a satellite Dean."_

"So you can't"

"_Course I can."_

"Than take me to him."

"_no way."_

"please."

"_look Dean. Your not a, a, you're a civilian. And in no way able to step into a war."_

"I have to find him, I know he's disobeying right now considering you're in charge and you know nothing of his trip. Which put him in danger, you want your mission or what ever to go smoothly and I want Cas safe. We're on the same team, and you know as well as I do I am the only one that can get though to him."

"_you think you know him so well don't you?"_

"I do. What I don't, I will spent the rest of my live finding out, there's nothing he or you can tell me about his life can make me love him any less."

_"I would happily bet against that Dean." _

"Shut up. Anna you may be a complete bitch to what you've done to my best friend but please help me, help my boyfriend. He's your friend Anna."

_"very well."_ Dean heard a flutter of wings turned to see Anna before him, they hung up and Anna didn't look best pleased that she had agreed to this. "But I'm warning you, you will not like what you see, be open minded, I know you can believe." Dean nodded and she gripped his shoulder. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

**the main plot the story has been hinting and building to is starting to be unraveled so check out the next chapter (when it's up) :D**

**Anyway ****please reivew xx**


	20. Chapter 20

_**To my readers;**_

_**I would like to apologise for the fact that there will no longer be any more updates for this story.**_

_**I love writing and I love all of you; however I will no longer be around to continue to write. I have been struggling for a while and it's all become too much.**_

_**I am really sorry.**_

_**I have really enjoyed writing for you and I hope you have enjoyed reading my stories.**_

_**I guess I'll see you all on the flipside.**_

_**Live well. Be happy : )**_

_**Good bless**_

_**Nutmeg17**_

_**xxxx**_


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